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	<title>Paradox of Reality</title>
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	<link>http://paradoxofreality.com</link>
	<description>Better Thinking, Better Success: Peak Performance and Personal Achievement</description>
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		<title>Tapping World Summit 2010</title>
		<link>http://paradoxofreality.com/2010/02/01/tapping-world-summit-2010/</link>
		<comments>http://paradoxofreality.com/2010/02/01/tapping-world-summit-2010/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 01 Feb 2010 18:28:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Reeta Luthra</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[EFT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Carol Look]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[EFT World Summit]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nick ortner]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pat Carrington]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Patricia Carrington]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tapping]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tapping World Summit 2010]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://paradoxofreality.com/?p=1148</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Following the enormous success of last year&#8217;s first ever Tapping World Summit, Nicolas Ortner, the producer of the EFT Documentary film Try It On Everything has organised another one for this year!
Last years event had over 81,000 people in attendance!
I&#8217;ve just received the details of this event. Regular readers will know that I&#8221;m an EFT advocate and a supporter [...]<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2010/02/01/tapping-world-summit-2010/">Tapping World Summit 2010</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
<i>If you have found this article useful, please share it with anyone you think might find it interesting.</i> </p></p>



Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/04/03/eft-world-summit-april-2009/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: EFT World Summit April 2009'>EFT World Summit April 2009</a> <small> Update: 1st Feb 2010: The 2009 EFT Tapping World...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/08/13/the-tapping-insiders-club/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: The Tapping Insiders Club'>The Tapping Insiders Club</a> <small> You may remember Nick Ortner &#8211; the man behind...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/08/31/the-tapping-insiders-club-last-call-for-chartered-membership/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: The Tapping Insiders Club &#8211; Last Call for Chartered Membership'>The Tapping Insiders Club &#8211; Last Call for Chartered Membership</a> <small> If you are thinking of joining the Tapping Insiders...</small></li>
</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p><a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2010/02/01/tapping-world-summit-2010/"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-364" style="margin: 10px;" title="EFT Tapping World Summit 2010" src="http://paradoxofreality.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/eft_world_03.jpg" alt="EFT Tapping World Summit 2010" width="188" height="245" /></a>Following the enormous success of last year&#8217;s first ever Tapping World Summit, Nicolas Ortner, the producer of the EFT Documentary film <a style="text-decoration: none; color: #3838e0; border: 0px initial initial;" href="http://www.tryitoneverything.com/cmd.php?af=963451">Try It On Everything</a> has organised another one for this year!</p>
<p><strong>Last years event had over 81,000 people in attendance!</strong></p>
<p>I&#8217;ve just received the details of this event. Regular readers will know that I&#8221;m an EFT advocate and a supporter of the work that Nick and his team do &#8211; so I&#8217;m very pleased to share the details with you.</p>
<h2>EFT</h2>
<p>In case you don&#8217;t know what tapping is, it&#8217;s a technique that combines ancient Chinese acupressure and modern psychology to give startling results.</p>
<p>Also known as EFT, I use it with my clients on a daily basis and I&#8217;m not alone. It&#8217;s used and recommended by leading household names such as Jack Canfield, Joe Vitale, Cheryl Richardson, Deepok Chopra, Dr. Joseph Mercola and many others.</p>
<p>The best way for me to explain how effective it is for you to <strong>take a look at the video</strong> on the page below.</p>
<p>In the middle of the video you&#8217;ll see a clip from the documentary film &#8220;The Tapping Solution.&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>Check out the video here:</strong></p>
<p>==&gt;<a title="Tapping World Summit 2010" href="http://www.tryitoneverything.com/cmd.php?Clk=3517772" target="_blank"> http://www.tryitoneverything.com/cmd.php?Clk=3517772</a></p>
<h2>What will you get from the Tapping World Summit?</h2>
<p>If you&#8217;re looking to create prosperity, clarity, energy focus, better physical and emotional health and much, much more than you need to register for this <strong>free</strong> online event:</p>
<p>This event features some of the top EFT / Tapping practitioners in the world such as Carol Look, Patricia Carrington, Brad Yates, Bob Doyle, Carol Tuttle…in fact, there will be over 18 instructors in all with over 20 presentations&#8230;</p>
<p>Just take a look here at what you will experience, at no charge to you:</p>
<p>==&gt; <a title="Tapping World Summit 2010" href="http://www.tryitoneverything.com/cmd.php?Clk=3517772" target="_blank">http://www.tryitoneverything.com/cmd.php?Clk=3517772</a></p>
<p>You can listen to all of the presentations or just a few of them,<strong> you get to pick the topics that interest you</strong>.</p>
<p>When you register you&#8217;ll also get immediate access to three powerful interviews with Jack Canfield and Joe Vitale who you may recognize from the hit movie &#8221;The Secret&#8221; and Bruce Lipton, the author of &#8220;The Biology of Belief.&#8221;</p>
<p>Plus you&#8217;ll get two more audios introducing you to the 2010 Tapping World Summit that will teach you the basics of Tapping so you can immediately start to implement this powerful technique.</p>
<p>This entire event is filled with amazing speakers, topics and information.  It&#8217;s a one of a kind event that you won&#8217;t find anywhere else.</p>
<p>P.S. &#8211; Remember, this event is brought to you at<strong> no charge</strong>…</p>
<p>P.P.S. &#8211; You don&#8217;t have to travel or book a room anywhere… you get to experience the entire event from the <strong>comfort of your own home</strong>.</p>
<p>==&gt; <a title="Tapping World Summit 2010" href="http://www.tryitoneverything.com/cmd.php?Clk=3517772" target="_blank">http://www.tryitoneverything.com/cmd.php?Clk=3517772</a></p>
<p>( In the interest of full disclosure, I want to say that the links in this message are affiliate links. I greatly admire the work of Nick Ortner and his partners and would recommend them even if they hadn’t provided the affiliation. I rarely add referrals to my pages so when I do, please be assured that they are to people and products that I trust)</p>
<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2010/02/01/tapping-world-summit-2010/">Tapping World Summit 2010</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
<i>If you have found this article useful, please share it with anyone you think might find it interesting.</i> </p></p>



<p>Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/04/03/eft-world-summit-april-2009/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: EFT World Summit April 2009'>EFT World Summit April 2009</a> <small> Update: 1st Feb 2010: The 2009 EFT Tapping World...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/08/13/the-tapping-insiders-club/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: The Tapping Insiders Club'>The Tapping Insiders Club</a> <small> You may remember Nick Ortner &#8211; the man behind...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/08/31/the-tapping-insiders-club-last-call-for-chartered-membership/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: The Tapping Insiders Club &#8211; Last Call for Chartered Membership'>The Tapping Insiders Club &#8211; Last Call for Chartered Membership</a> <small> If you are thinking of joining the Tapping Insiders...</small></li>
</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>How To Leverage More of What You Want</title>
		<link>http://paradoxofreality.com/2010/01/06/how-to-leverage-more-of-what-you-want/</link>
		<comments>http://paradoxofreality.com/2010/01/06/how-to-leverage-more-of-what-you-want/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 06 Jan 2010 12:00:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Reeta Luthra</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Social Networks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[achievement]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflict of goals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[facebook]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[goal setting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[goals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[NLP]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[personal goals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[personal responsibility]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[success]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Thoughts Create Reality]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://paradoxofreality.com/?p=1122</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Have you ever decided to do something only to find later that it&#8217;s not working out?
If so, then it&#8217;s not necessarily your ultimate goal that&#8217;s the problem. It could just be that you need to stop how you&#8217;re doing it and try something else.
There are three things to remember about goals &#38; achievement:

Defining what you [...]<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2010/01/06/how-to-leverage-more-of-what-you-want/">How To Leverage More of What You Want</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
<i>If you have found this article useful, please share it with anyone you think might find it interesting.</i> </p></p>



Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/11/the-sticky-web-of-linked-up-social-networks/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: The Sticky Web of Linking Up Social Networks'>The Sticky Web of Linking Up Social Networks</a> <small> Having dipped a toe into social media, I&#8217;m finding...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/10/declutter-your-mind-achieve-your-goal/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Declutter your mind, Achieve your goal'>Declutter your mind, Achieve your goal</a> <small> One of the basics of better thinking is to...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2008/10/21/escape-the-new-year-resolution-trap-think-early-think-smart/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Escape the New Year Resolution Trap: Think Early. Think Smart.'>Escape the New Year Resolution Trap: Think Early. Think Smart.</a> <small> My friend Teresa (not her real name) has been...</small></li>
</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p>Have you ever decided to do something only to find later that it&#8217;s not working out?</p>
<p>If so, then it&#8217;s not necessarily your ultimate goal that&#8217;s the problem. It could just be that you need to stop how you&#8217;re doing it and try something else.</p>
<p>There are three things to remember about goals &amp; achievement:</p>
<ol>
<li>Defining what you want is not just a &#8220;nice to have&#8221;. It&#8217;s essential.</li>
<li>Your personal values help plan the route you take.</li>
<li>There&#8217;s more than one way to skin a cat.</li>
</ol>
<h3>Knowing what you want means you don&#8217;t get stuck with what you don&#8217;t want</h3>
<p>Some people have asked me why I no longer have a facebook account.</p>
<p>In an<a title="my social media goals" href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/11/the-sticky-web-of-linked-up-social-networks/" target="_blank"> earlier post</a> I mentioned that I had outlined some personal and business social media objectives (or goals). Because I had done this to quite a level of detail, I was able to evaluate how the various social outlets I&#8217;m subscribed to were working in my favour.</p>
<p>Now&#8217;s a good time to point out the difference between goals and tactics. I had goals to achieve through using social media. But the way I go about it and the methods I use are tactics.</p>
<p>What I discovered with facebook is that it tries to be all things to everyone. For me, it&#8217;s doing so at the expense of  what I want. Facebook puts it&#8217;s emphasis on &#8220;opt-out&#8221; of it&#8217;s various social elements. I prefer giving others, and being given the choice myself to opt in.</p>
<p>Can you think of a time where you didn&#8217;t define what you wanted from a situation and ended up wasting weeks, months, even years caught up in something you later realised wasn&#8217;t suitable?</p>
<h3>Your personal values tell you whether or not a route is right for you</h3>
<p>My &#8220;friends&#8221; on facebook include actual family &amp; friends, colleagues, online friends, networkers and business contacts. And as facebook tries to be all things to everyone, therein lies the problem.</p>
<ul>
<li>My family &amp; friends don&#8217;t want my business news.</li>
<li>I don&#8217;t want my colleagues, business contacts and random strangers to click and dig their way into profiles of my family.</li>
<li>I don&#8217;t like networkers spamming my family &amp; friends with &#8220;friend requests&#8221;.</li>
<li>I don&#8217;t like being tagged in photos.</li>
<li>Unlike <a title="Join Reeta on twitter" href="http://twitter.com/ReetaLuthra" target="_blank">twitter</a> where short is sweet, the facebook version of snippety, bite-sized friendship leaves a hole.</li>
</ul>
<p>Facebook offers customisable privacy levels but they&#8217;re limited in scope. And I&#8217;ve grown tired of spending my spare time customising facebook privacy every time they implement a change.</p>
<p>The nicest and most satisfying way to reach your goal is by travelling on a road that fits with your personal values and aspirations. Facebook brushes the wrong way against many of my personal values.</p>
<p>What could you change to make one of your goals more pleasant to reach?</p>
<h3>There&#8217;s more than one way to skin a cat</h3>
<p>Just because you started in a particular direction, doesn&#8217;t mean you have to follow it religiously. Remember the difference between goals and tactics?</p>
<p>If there&#8217;s no commitment, promise or obligation on a certain path, then you can meet your goal in a way that feels more in tune with yourself.</p>
<p>If you do have commitments, it&#8217;s a good idea to track and understand if there&#8217;s a deeper source of discomfort. It&#8217;s an important question because throwing off one commitment because you&#8217;re too tired means it will probably come up again in a different form.</p>
<p>A lot of people find themselves in a seemingly never-ending situation because they had entered it without knowing what they wanted from it. That&#8217;s why defining your goals is so important. For a long time, <a title="A Goal By Any Other Name" href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2008/09/16/a-goal-by-any-other-name/">I hated the word &#8220;goal&#8221;</a> &#8211; it was too corporate mumbo-jumbo for me. But you don&#8217;t have to call it a goal. It&#8217;s something that you want and you can call this anything that does it justice.</p>
<p>As soon as you define what it is that you want &#8211; either on your own or with a personal coach &#8211; you suddenly discover that you do have options.</p>
<p>A different way of doing things exists in almost every situation. Your natural flexibility and curiosity will help you find it.</p>
<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2010/01/06/how-to-leverage-more-of-what-you-want/">How To Leverage More of What You Want</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
<i>If you have found this article useful, please share it with anyone you think might find it interesting.</i> </p></p>



<p>Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/11/the-sticky-web-of-linked-up-social-networks/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: The Sticky Web of Linking Up Social Networks'>The Sticky Web of Linking Up Social Networks</a> <small> Having dipped a toe into social media, I&#8217;m finding...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/10/declutter-your-mind-achieve-your-goal/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Declutter your mind, Achieve your goal'>Declutter your mind, Achieve your goal</a> <small> One of the basics of better thinking is to...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2008/10/21/escape-the-new-year-resolution-trap-think-early-think-smart/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Escape the New Year Resolution Trap: Think Early. Think Smart.'>Escape the New Year Resolution Trap: Think Early. Think Smart.</a> <small> My friend Teresa (not her real name) has been...</small></li>
</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
		<title>The Best of Paradox of Reality 2009</title>
		<link>http://paradoxofreality.com/2010/01/01/the-best-of-paradox-of-reality-2009/</link>
		<comments>http://paradoxofreality.com/2010/01/01/the-best-of-paradox-of-reality-2009/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 01 Jan 2010 12:15:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Reeta Luthra</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anger]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[muscle test]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[NLP]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[procrastination]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[setting goals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[subconscious mind]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The best of Paradox of Reality 2009]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://paradoxofreality.com/?p=1095</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
This is a list of some of the most read articles on Paradox of Reality during 2009 (based on number of page views).
Whether you&#8217;re new to this blog or a long-time reader, thank you for your continued support and also for your emails and comments, both here and on twitter.
There are some improvements to this [...]<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2010/01/01/the-best-of-paradox-of-reality-2009/">The Best of Paradox of Reality 2009</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
<i>If you have found this article useful, please share it with anyone you think might find it interesting.</i> </p></p>



Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/10/declutter-your-mind-achieve-your-goal/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Declutter your mind, Achieve your goal'>Declutter your mind, Achieve your goal</a> <small> One of the basics of better thinking is to...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/02/23/exercise-being-in-tune-with-your-subconscious-mind/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Exercise: Muscle Testing Your Subconscious Mind'>Exercise: Muscle Testing Your Subconscious Mind</a> <small> It is said that our subconscious mind holds the...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/06/13/how-valuable-is-face-value/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: How Valuable is Face Value?'>How Valuable is Face Value?</a> <small> I&#8217;m in Dubai where there is much construction taking...</small></li>
</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p><strong><a title="The Best of Paradox of Reality 2009" href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2010/01/01/the-best-of-paradox-of-reality-2009/"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-1108" style="margin: 10px;" title="The Best of Paradox of Reality 2009" src="http://paradoxofreality.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/the-best-of-paradox-of-reality-2009.jpg" alt="The Best of Paradox of Reality 2009" width="240" height="159" /></a>This is a list of some of the most read articles on Paradox of Reality during 2009 (based on number of page views).</strong></p>
<p>Whether you&#8217;re new to this blog or a long-time reader, thank you for your continued support and also for your emails and comments, both here and on <a title="Join Reeta on twitter" href="http://twitter.com/ReetaLuthra">twitter</a>.</p>
<p>There are some improvements to this site coming your way throughout 2010 &#8211; stay tuned for them.</p>
<p>Later on, I&#8217;ll be officially asking for your suggestions on the things you&#8217;d like me to cover. However, if you have any suggestions now, you&#8217;re more than welcome to <a title="Contact Reeta by email or telephone" href="http://paradoxofreality.com/contact-reeta-luthra/">get in touch</a>.</p>
<p><strong>So, on to the list:</strong></p>
<ul>
<li><a title="When an NLP technique is not enough" href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/01/04/when-an-nlp-technique-is-not-enough/">When an NLP technique is not enough</a> &#8211; A student&#8217;s imagination is often captured by the flamboyant techniques within NLP.  But because the strength of NLP comes through it&#8217;s principles and the thought processes it teaches, there is a need to consider the whole picture before applying a technique. Applying an NLP technique without understanding the cause can mean that the issue gets temporarily buried rather than fully resolved.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li> <a title="Seven Ways Role Models Influence Your Success" href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/04/15/7-ways-role-models-influence-your-success/">Seven Ways Role Models Influence Your Success</a> - <span style="line-height: 18px;">Just as water moulds it way into rock, the people we encounter leave their mark on the bedrock of our world too. As you think of areas in your life that have been influenced or shaped by others, it can seem as if the enriching encounters happen more by luck and good fortune. When <strong><em>luck is an </em></strong><strong><em>attitude</em></strong>, you control the influences entering your life. </span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><a title="Setting Goals the NLP Way" href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/04/29/my-language-challenge-learn-arabic-in-2-months-part-2-setting-goals/">Setting Goals the NLP Way</a> -  You can give your New Year Resolutions a helping hand with this thought process. This PECSAW model is a streamlined version of the Well-Formed Outcomes model of NLP and was taught to me where I studied NLP. It&#8217;s a set of guidelines that help goals become do-able.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><a title="Four Reasons You Procrastinate" href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/03/16/procrastination-or-i-want-it-badly-but-cant-do-what-it-takes/">Four Reasons You Procrastinate</a> &#8211; Where there are goals, there is procrastination! But when we address the stubborn forms of procrastination through what the blocks mean to us, we have the opportunity of not only achieving the task, but achieving it with enjoyment.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><a title="Three Ways to Reduce Anger &amp; Cultivate Forgiveness" href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/03/3-power-attitudes-to-reduce-anger-cultivate-forgiveness/">Three Ways to Reduce Anger &amp; Cultivate Forgiveness</a> &#8211; When disturbances from people and situations around us affect our state of mind, they distort our perspective. Anger becomes a disturbance-triggered reaction and often, it becomes a way of making pain easier to bear.  One way to develop a stronger resistance to external disturbances is through cultivating an attitude of forgiveness.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><a title="A Muscle Test for Your Subconscious Mind" href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/02/23/exercise-being-in-tune-with-your-subconscious-mind/">A &#8220;muscle test&#8221; For Your Subconscious Mind</a> &#8211; It is said that our subconscious mind holds the memory of every single experience we have ever had. This exercise is designed to help and train you to get into &#8220;the zone&#8221; to access this information. A benefit is that it gives you the potential to understand your motives a lot better than you already do.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><a title="The Double Edged Sword of Help" href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/06/29/the-double-edged-sword-of-help/">The Double Edged Sword of Help</a> &#8211; Two questions:<strong> <span style="font-weight: normal;">1) When does<span><span> </span></span>helping someone<span><span> </span></span>become self-serving or controlling? 2) When does asking for help become making someone else responsible for your happiness?</span></strong></li>
</ul>
<p>Finally, there&#8217;s <a title="ReetaLuthra.com is Live" href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/11/18/reetaluthra-com-is-live/">ReetaLuthra.com is Live</a>! If you haven&#8217;t visited this yet, it&#8217;s a new hub for my therapy and coaching practice, it focuses on matters concerning <a title="Visit ReetaLuthra.com" href="http://reetaluthra.com">Stress and Your Health</a> and has it&#8217;s own <a title="Stress &amp; Your Health Blog" href="http://reetaluthra.com/blog/">blog</a>. It&#8217;ll be great to see you there.</p>
<p>That&#8217;s 2009 wrapped and onwards to a greater 2010.</p>
<p>Wishing you a 2010 full of 365 days of amazing opportunities and great health.</p>
<p>Happy New Year!</p>
<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2010/01/01/the-best-of-paradox-of-reality-2009/">The Best of Paradox of Reality 2009</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
<i>If you have found this article useful, please share it with anyone you think might find it interesting.</i> </p></p>



<p>Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/10/declutter-your-mind-achieve-your-goal/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Declutter your mind, Achieve your goal'>Declutter your mind, Achieve your goal</a> <small> One of the basics of better thinking is to...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/02/23/exercise-being-in-tune-with-your-subconscious-mind/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Exercise: Muscle Testing Your Subconscious Mind'>Exercise: Muscle Testing Your Subconscious Mind</a> <small> It is said that our subconscious mind holds the...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/06/13/how-valuable-is-face-value/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: How Valuable is Face Value?'>How Valuable is Face Value?</a> <small> I&#8217;m in Dubai where there is much construction taking...</small></li>
</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>EFT Founder Gary Craig Is Retiring</title>
		<link>http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/12/16/gary-craig-is-retiring/</link>
		<comments>http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/12/16/gary-craig-is-retiring/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:28:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Reeta Luthra</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://paradoxofreality.com/?p=1075</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
This is a cross post from http://reetaluthra.com/blog/
Gary Craig, the founder of EFT, has announced that he will be retiring on 15th January 2010. A post on his blog explains his reasons which are health related.
One impact of Gary&#8217;s retirement is that he will be shutting down his website - http://www.emofree.com &#8211; which has developed into an [...]<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/12/16/gary-craig-is-retiring/">EFT Founder Gary Craig Is Retiring</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
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Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/11/18/reetaluthra-com-is-live/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: ReetaLuthra.com is Live!'>ReetaLuthra.com is Live!</a> <small> Paradox of Reality has changed! As you may already...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/05/15/my-language-challenge-part-4-the-influence-of-thoughts-on-learning/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: My Language Challenge: Part 4 &#8211; The Influence of Thoughts on Learning'>My Language Challenge: Part 4 &#8211; The Influence of Thoughts on Learning</a> <small> This is part of a series covering my challenge...</small></li>
</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p>This is a cross post from <a title="Stress and Your Health" href="http://reetaluthra.com/blog/" target="_blank">http://reetaluthra.com/blog/</a></p>
<p>Gary Craig, the founder of EFT, has announced that he will be retiring on 15th January 2010. A post on his <a title="Gary Craig is Retiring" href="http://eftcommunity.emofree.com/blogs/eft_blog/archive/2009/12/12/gary-is-retiring.aspx" target="_blank">blog</a> explains his reasons which are health related.</p>
<p>One impact of Gary&#8217;s retirement is that he will be shutting down his website - http://www.emofree.com &#8211; which has developed into an enormous resource of information and articles.</p>
<p>Although much of this will continue to be available to those who know how to hunt for it on the Internet Archive Wayback Machine, what it does mean for you is that 2 of his most valuable resources will cease to be available in one month unless of course he manages to think of a way to continue providing them. These resources are:</p>
<p><strong>The EFT Training Manual:</strong> This is a booklet that outlines the EFT method and provides a good introduction to EFT for beginners. You can download the manual <a title="Free EFT Training Manual" href="http://emofree.com/downloadeftmanual.asp" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p><strong>The EFT Training DVD&#8217;s</strong>: This collection of 11 sets provides complete training that progressively takes you from beginner status to advanced mastery of EFT. They&#8217;re one of the most important assets in any practitioners EFT library and if you haven&#8217;t purchased them, <a title="Purchase EFT Training DVDs" href="https://www.emofree.com/EFTStore/" target="_blank">now is the time</a>.</p>
<p>Gary has made an enormous contribution to self-help, personal development and helping individuals become more in-tune with the messages of their own bodies. He has been an inspiration to me on many levels and I wish him the absolute best for his continuing recovery and future projects that he embarks upon.</p>
<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/12/16/gary-craig-is-retiring/">EFT Founder Gary Craig Is Retiring</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
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<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/05/15/my-language-challenge-part-4-the-influence-of-thoughts-on-learning/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: My Language Challenge: Part 4 &#8211; The Influence of Thoughts on Learning'>My Language Challenge: Part 4 &#8211; The Influence of Thoughts on Learning</a> <small> This is part of a series covering my challenge...</small></li>
</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>5 Ways To Strengthen Your Job Application</title>
		<link>http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/12/07/5-ways-to-strengthen-your-job-application/</link>
		<comments>http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/12/07/5-ways-to-strengthen-your-job-application/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 08 Dec 2009 00:20:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Reeta Luthra</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Strategies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[applying for a job]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cv]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[email address on cv]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[facebook]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[facebook job application]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how to write a cv]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[improve cv]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[is it safe to link social networks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[job application]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[job application and online footprint]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[job hunting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[make your job application stronger]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[resume]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[write a good cv]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://paradoxofreality.com/?p=1064</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Your CV (aka resume) is ready and you&#8217;re about to send it out to recruitment agencies and potential employers. 
Whether it&#8217;s your first job or a strategic career move, there are some things you need to do before you send off that CV.
1) Is Your Email Address Helping or Hindering?
First impressions count. So make sure [...]<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/12/07/5-ways-to-strengthen-your-job-application/">5 Ways To Strengthen Your Job Application</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
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Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2010/01/01/the-best-of-paradox-of-reality-2009/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: The Best of Paradox of Reality 2009'>The Best of Paradox of Reality 2009</a> <small> This is a list of some of the most...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/11/the-sticky-web-of-linked-up-social-networks/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: The Sticky Web of Linking Up Social Networks'>The Sticky Web of Linking Up Social Networks</a> <small> Having dipped a toe into social media, I&#8217;m finding...</small></li>
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</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p><strong><a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/12/07/5-ways-to-strengthen-your-job-application/"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-1069" style="margin-left: 15px; margin-right: 15px;" title="5-easy-ways-to-strengthen-your-job-application" src="http://paradoxofreality.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/5-easy-ways-to-strengthen-your-job-application-300x300.jpg" alt="5-easy-ways-to-strengthen-your-job-application" width="200" height="200" /></a>Your CV (aka resume) is ready and you&#8217;re about to send it out to recruitment agencies and potential employers. </strong></p>
<p><strong>Whether it&#8217;s your first job or a strategic career move, there are some things you need to do before you send off that CV.</strong></p>
<h2>1) Is Your Email Address Helping or Hindering?</h2>
<p>First impressions count. So make sure your email address does not present a distorted image of you.</p>
<ul>
<li>Your fun email address such as &#8220;hotlover4u@&#8230;&#8221; may not strike an interviewers funny bone.</li>
<li>Shared email addresses such as &#8220;tomandlinda@&#8230;&#8221; create uncertainty as to who will be reading or replying to an email. If you share your email address with your family or partner, consider setting up your own address to avoid accidental deletion of an interview confirmation and to give yourself some privacy.</li>
<li>Take care over hyphens in your email. It is easy for someone in a rush to confuse a hyphen with an underscore.</li>
<li>Although it&#8217;s not your fault, people can also read <em>.com</em> instead of <em>.co.uk.</em> Grab both versions of an email address if you can or choose the more easily remembered .com even that means registering your own domain.</li>
</ul>
<p>It is worth the time to take the time to set up an email address that you can use for job applications and other activities where you want to present a good image.  Choose an email address that contains your name or an abbreviation of your name. Set your email up so that your full name appears in the &#8220;From&#8221; field.</p>
<h2>2) Future-Proof your Contact Details</h2>
<p>Once your CV is out there, it can remain accessible to others for quite a while. An agency may want to head-hunt you in a year or so. Or an interviewer who rejected you may remember you as the perfect candidate for a position that suddenly opens up.</p>
<p>Therefore, your CV should list your personal email address and a personal mobile number as the primary ways to contact you. If you need to apply with your current work email address or work telephone, list these separately.</p>
<h2>3) Check Your Online Footprint</h2>
<p>In the current wave of social networking, it&#8217;s quite possible that there may be things about you online that you would rather prospective employers did not see. Search for your name online and see what can be found about you. The internet gives everybody the opportunity to play papparazzi so be inventive, become your own stalker and search for your email address and anything else that an agency or potential employer might try.</p>
<p>If you find something that needs changing, then change it. Remember that search engines can take around a month to reflect changes so do this in good time. If you do not have the rights to change it (a comment on a blog or a news article perhaps), then plan how you will respond if the subject is mentioned.</p>
<p>Check your profile on facebook, MySpace and any other social networking site you visit. Even if you have nothing to hide, set secure privacy options. At this early stage of your job search, you want to minimise the risk that a prospective employer may take offence at something trivial on your personal profile. Hide your friends list from casual observers and remove your tags from photos that your friends may have posted. You can always set them up again once you have secured your job.</p>
<p>If you have a profile on LinkedIn, ask current colleagues to write recommendations. Give people something positive to find.</p>
<h2>4) Set a Correct Target</h2>
<p>Your CV should be tailored to the position you are applying for. It is common and quite normal to have several versions of a CV that place emphasis on different areas. A good recruitment agent will work with you to suggest ways to customise your CV for a specific role. You will have to do the work yourself, but do ask them for help and suggestions.</p>
<p>Some of the less ethical recruitment agencies will not be as helpful, especially if you are applying for your first job or for a role that pays them low commission. Don&#8217;t let this put you off and don&#8217;t become agitated or rude. You need them to put your CV forward so present the best side of yourself in all your communications with them.</p>
<p>Recent surveys suggest that up to 73% of employers reject CV&#8217;s that do not list work related achievements. Maximise your application by making sure that your achievements are relevant to the position you are applying for.</p>
<h2>5) Check Your Holidays!</h2>
<p>Some people apply for jobs or submit their CV&#8217;s to online job-boards just before they leave to go on holiday. Sometimes it&#8217;s a calculated risk where the assumption is that you will be back before anybody responds to your application. However, the other side is that you are not contactable and if anyone does try to contact you, they will doubt that you are serious about your job search and they may not try to get in touch again.</p>
<p>If you do need to submit an application just before a holiday, then mention this in your cover letter as a courtesy &#8211; but remember that they are a stranger so do not suggest that the house will be empty for two weeks.</p>
<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/12/07/5-ways-to-strengthen-your-job-application/">5 Ways To Strengthen Your Job Application</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
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<p>Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2010/01/01/the-best-of-paradox-of-reality-2009/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: The Best of Paradox of Reality 2009'>The Best of Paradox of Reality 2009</a> <small> This is a list of some of the most...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/11/the-sticky-web-of-linked-up-social-networks/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: The Sticky Web of Linking Up Social Networks'>The Sticky Web of Linking Up Social Networks</a> <small> Having dipped a toe into social media, I&#8217;m finding...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/04/29/my-language-challenge-learn-arabic-in-2-months-part-2-setting-goals/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: My Language Challenge: Part 2 &#8211; Setting and Planning Goals the NLP Way'>My Language Challenge: Part 2 &#8211; Setting and Planning Goals the NLP Way</a> <small> This is part of a series covering my challenge...</small></li>
</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>ReetaLuthra.com is Live!</title>
		<link>http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/11/18/reetaluthra-com-is-live/</link>
		<comments>http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/11/18/reetaluthra-com-is-live/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 18 Nov 2009 19:57:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Reeta Luthra</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stress and]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stress health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stress help]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stress therapy]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://paradoxofreality.com/blog/?p=1037</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Paradox of Reality has changed!
As you may already know, I help you address the internalised stress that underlies your health problems.
This is a huge subject that needs its own dedicated area to do it justice &#8211; so I have developed a new hub for my therapy &#38; coaching practice.
http://reetaluthra.com is now live.
This new website provides information [...]<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/11/18/reetaluthra-com-is-live/">ReetaLuthra.com is Live!</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
<i>If you have found this article useful, please share it with anyone you think might find it interesting.</i> </p></p>



Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/04/08/ibs-incontinence-and-a-bad-marriage/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: IBS, Incontinence and a Bad Marriage'>IBS, Incontinence and a Bad Marriage</a> <small> This post has been moved to Reeta Luthra&#8217;s site...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2008/10/28/gain-precious-years-through-improving-your-decision-making-strategy/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Gain Precious Years Through Improving Your Decision Making Strategy'>Gain Precious Years Through Improving Your Decision Making Strategy</a> <small> This post has been moved to Reeta Luthra’s site...</small></li>
</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p><a href="http://reetaluthra.com"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-1040" style="margin-left: 15px; margin-right: 15px;" title="Reeta Luthra: Addressing the impact of stress on your health" src="http://paradoxofreality.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/reetaluthrasite.gif" alt="Reeta Luthra: Addressing the impact of stress on your health" width="200" height="161" /></a><strong>Paradox of Reality has changed!</strong></p>
<p>As you may already know, I help you address the internalised stress that underlies your health problems.</p>
<p>This is a huge subject that needs its own dedicated area to do it justice &#8211; so I have developed a new hub for my therapy &amp; coaching practice.</p>
<p><a title="Reeta Luthra: Addressing the impact of stress on your health" href="http://reetaluthra.com"><strong>http://reetaluthra.com</strong></a> is now live.</p>
<p><a title="Reeta Luthra: Addressing the impact of stress on your health" href="http://reetaluthra.com">This new website</a> provides<strong> </strong>information about stress and its impact on your health. When up to 90% of visits to the doctor have stress as an underlying cause, it&#8217;s prudent to take care of the internalised stress that may be affecting you today. The site has its own <a title="Stress and Your Health Blog" href="http://reetaluthra.com/blog/">blog</a> and <a title="Reeta Luthra's Stress Notes newsletter" href="http://reetaluthra.com/newsletter.html">newsletter</a> which you are more than welcome to subscribe to.</p>
<p>If you are subscribed to the Paradox of Reality newsletter or site feed, you&#8217;ll need to resubscribe at the <a title="Reeta Luthra: Addressing the impact of stress on your health" href="http://reetaluthra.com/">new site</a> if you are interested in receiving information more directly related to stress and health. Because it&#8217;s a separate site, I cannot transfer your subscriptions.</p>
<p>Paradox of Reality will continue to focus on the general aspects around personal development and Better Thinking, Better Success.</p>
<p>Regular readers will notice as some health related articles are moved onto the new site to keep things relevant. Don&#8217;t worry, this will NOT affect your bookmarks as moved content will be replaced by redirects or alternative links.</p>
<p>Please feel free to <a title="Contact Reeta" href="http://paradoxofreality.com/contact-reeta-luthra/">get in touch</a> if you have any questions! I  look forward to engaging with you in the future &#8211; on here, on <a title="Reeta Luthra: Addressing the impact of stress on your health" href="http://reetaluthra.com">http://reetaluthra.com</a> or on <a title="join Reeta Luthra on twitter" href="http://twitter.com/ReetaLuthra">twitter</a>.</p>
<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/11/18/reetaluthra-com-is-live/">ReetaLuthra.com is Live!</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
<i>If you have found this article useful, please share it with anyone you think might find it interesting.</i> </p></p>



<p>Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/04/08/ibs-incontinence-and-a-bad-marriage/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: IBS, Incontinence and a Bad Marriage'>IBS, Incontinence and a Bad Marriage</a> <small> This post has been moved to Reeta Luthra&#8217;s site...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2008/10/28/gain-precious-years-through-improving-your-decision-making-strategy/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Gain Precious Years Through Improving Your Decision Making Strategy'>Gain Precious Years Through Improving Your Decision Making Strategy</a> <small> This post has been moved to Reeta Luthra’s site...</small></li>
</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Who Are You Doing It For?</title>
		<link>http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/10/21/who-are-you-doing-it-for/</link>
		<comments>http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/10/21/who-are-you-doing-it-for/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 20 Oct 2009 23:49:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Reeta Luthra</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[apathy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[challenging an idea]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[deluded thinking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dubai metro]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how to disagree wwith someone nicely]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[not listening to criticism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[our own ideas are precious]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[People criticize because they care]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[People criticize me]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[personal responsibility]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[peyman parham]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rethink an idea]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://paradoxofreality.com/blog/?p=1026</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Sometimes we do things that turn out to be a bit odd and not what we&#8217;d intended.
An idea seems absolutely terrific in our own head but then when we work to give it a shape in the outside world, we get quite defensive when people suggest the idea needs tweaking.
Government is an easy target for [...]<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/10/21/who-are-you-doing-it-for/">Who Are You Doing It For?</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
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Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/04/03/eft-world-summit-april-2009/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: EFT World Summit April 2009'>EFT World Summit April 2009</a> <small> Update: 1st Feb 2010: The 2009 EFT Tapping World...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/04/29/my-language-challenge-learn-arabic-in-2-months-part-2-setting-goals/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: My Language Challenge: Part 2 &#8211; Setting and Planning Goals the NLP Way'>My Language Challenge: Part 2 &#8211; Setting and Planning Goals the NLP Way</a> <small> This is part of a series covering my challenge...</small></li>
</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p><img class="alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-1027" style="margin: 15px;" title="dubai-metro" src="http://paradoxofreality.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/dubai-metro-150x150.jpg" alt="dubai-metro" width="150" height="150" />Sometimes we do things that turn out to be a bit odd and not what we&#8217;d intended.</p>
<p>An idea seems absolutely terrific in our own head but then when we work to give it a shape in the outside world, we get quite defensive when people suggest the idea needs tweaking.</p>
<p>Government is an easy target for examples of odd implementation. Nevertheless, one example I came across today deserves a mention.</p>
<p>Dubai launched its first Metro a couple of months ago to tackle the enormous problem of traffic congestion in the city.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s not fully built yet but there are a number of stations in full operation around the city, including one at the new Emirates airport terminal. So it seems logical to assume that people will use the Metro to transport themselves and their luggage to and from the airport (as is normal practice in other cities around the world).</p>
<p>However, the Dubai metro allows each passenger just one item of hand-luggage of a certain size. This means that a lot of people who are flying in or out from the airport will not be allowed to use the Metro for the land part of their travel requirements.</p>
<p>Peyman Parham, director of marketing and corporate communication, RTA, told Emirates Business:</p>
<blockquote><p>&#8220;If just a few people come and ask us for more baggage allowance, we will not consider it. But if <strong>tens of thousands</strong> said they would use the Metro if they are allowed to carry heavy luggage we would consider it.&#8221;</p></blockquote>
<p>Quite bizarre.</p>
<p>But is it bizarre when we think about <strong>how</strong> <strong>precious our own ideas are</strong> to us? It can become easy to become so immersed in what we are doing that we forget to consider who we are doing it for and what impact it is having on them. We end up <a title="When I cut off my nose to spite my face" href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/16/when-i-cut-off-my-nose-to-spite-my-face/" target="_blank">cutting off our nose to spite our face</a>.</p>
<p>The next time someone challenges something you have done, what a great opportunity to use this information you are being given to further sculpt and refine what you are doing. Even if you don&#8217;t change a thing, you&#8217;ll be richer for having considered not only the suggestion but also what&#8217;s really driving you.</p>
<p>People make suggestions because they care. It lets you know they are not <a title="Love is as indifference does" href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/03/14/love-is-as-indifference-does/" target="_blank">indifferent</a>.</p>
<p>What do you think?</p>
<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/10/21/who-are-you-doing-it-for/">Who Are You Doing It For?</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
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<p>Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/04/03/eft-world-summit-april-2009/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: EFT World Summit April 2009'>EFT World Summit April 2009</a> <small> Update: 1st Feb 2010: The 2009 EFT Tapping World...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/04/29/my-language-challenge-learn-arabic-in-2-months-part-2-setting-goals/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: My Language Challenge: Part 2 &#8211; Setting and Planning Goals the NLP Way'>My Language Challenge: Part 2 &#8211; Setting and Planning Goals the NLP Way</a> <small> This is part of a series covering my challenge...</small></li>
</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>An Evening in London With John Gray (of &quot;Men Are From Mars&quot; fame)</title>
		<link>http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/10/19/an-evening-in-london-with-john-gray-of-men-are-from-mars-fame/</link>
		<comments>http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/10/19/an-evening-in-london-with-john-gray-of-men-are-from-mars-fame/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 19 Oct 2009 22:43:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Reeta Luthra</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anger]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[coaching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[counselling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[john gray]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[men are from mars]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[personal responsibility]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship stress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[why mars and venus collide]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[women are from venus]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://paradoxofreality.com/blog/?p=1016</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
John Gray is coming to London!
John Gray PhD, author of more than 16 best-selling books with over 40 million copies sold worldwide, including the relationship classic, ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’,  is coming to the UK on November 17th 2009 to introduce his latest work ‘Why Mars &#38; Venus Collide’ .
The [...]<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/10/19/an-evening-in-london-with-john-gray-of-men-are-from-mars-fame/">An Evening in London With John Gray (of &quot;Men Are From Mars&quot; fame)</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
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<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2008/09/29/therapy-for-adult-skin-problems-acne-spots-and-pimples/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Therapy for Adult Skin Problems &#8211; Acne, Spots and Pimples'>Therapy for Adult Skin Problems &#8211; Acne, Spots and Pimples</a> <small> The second therapy being released under the low-cost Project...</small></li>
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</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<h2><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-1017" style="margin-top: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 20px; margin-right: 20px;" title="john_gray_why_mars_venus_collide" src="http://paradoxofreality.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/john_gray_why_mars_venus_collide.jpg" alt="john_gray_why_mars_venus_collide" width="96" height="480" />John Gray is coming to London!</h2>
<p>John Gray PhD, author of more than 16 best-selling books with over 40 million copies sold worldwide, including the relationship classic, ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’,  is coming to the UK on <strong>November 17th 2009 </strong>to introduce his latest work ‘Why Mars &amp; Venus Collide’ .</p>
<p>The one off event, “An Evening with John Gray”, will be hosted by Great Expectations at the <strong>Hotel Ibis in Earls Court, London</strong>.</p>
<p><strong>To book your tickets with a special 10% discount for readers of Paradox of Reality, </strong><strong><a title="An evening with John Gray" href="http://www.greatexpectations.info/gray/specialdiscount.php?param2= 1368_Reeta_Pindoria" target="_blank">click here</a></strong><strong>.</strong></p>
<p><em>An Evening With John Gray: Why Mars &amp; Venus Collide</em> is a definitive manual to help men and women thrive together in the 21st century and will show you how you can use everyday pressures to build greater intimacy with your loved ones and strengthen your relationships to make them last.</p>
<h2>Stress &amp; Relationships</h2>
<p>The evening, which starts at 6.30 pm will begin by looking at how the pressures of our modern lifestyles are putting added stress on our relationships and making it harder and harder for them to work out long term.</p>
<p>John will go on to discuss how <strong>men and women deal with stress in different ways </strong>and how their different needs often lead to misunderstandings, miscommunication and resentment &#8212; in short, why Mars and Venus collide.  Bringing Mars and Venus into the 21st century, John Gray explores the different ways men and women approach their problems and offers a clear, easy-to-understand programme to bridge the gap.</p>
<blockquote><p>Says John, “We need to challenge our assumptions about how men &amp; women should be and begin to appreciate in practical terms who we are, what we can offer each other, and how we can team up to solve the new problems we face today.”  Working together, “We can create a new blueprint for male and female roles that can bring us closer together harmoniously.”</p></blockquote>
<h3>At this special event you will learn…</h3>
<ul>
<li>How the pressures of our modern lifestyles are putting added stress on our relationships</li>
<li>Why it is getting harder and harder to make relationships work long term</li>
<li>How men and women deal with stress in different ways</li>
<li>How our different needs often lead to misunderstandings, miscommunication and resentment &#8212; in short, why Mars and Venus collide</li>
<li>How men and women approach their problems and what to do to avoid and solve relationship problems</li>
</ul>
<p>Bringing Mars and Venus into the 21st century, John Gray will explore the different ways men and women approach their problems and offer a clear, easy-to-understand programme to bridge the gap.</p>
<p><strong>Meet John Gray<br />
</strong>VIP ticket holders will join John Gray at a champagne reception after the seminar and receive an autographed copy of John’s latest book.</p>
<p><span><strong>Get a special 10% discount<br />
</strong></span>By using the link below you can get a special 10% discount on ticket prices.<br />
This is a time limited offer. Book your tickets now.</p>
<p>For more information and to book your tickets with the special 10% discount available to readers of Paradox of Reality, visit <strong><a title="An Evening with John Gray" href="http://www.greatexpectations.info/gray/specialdiscount.php?param2= 1368_Reeta_Pindoria" target="_blank">http://www.greatexpectations.info/gray/specialdiscount.php?param2=                     1368_Reeta_Pindoria</a></strong></p>
<p><strong><br />
</strong></p>
<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/10/19/an-evening-in-london-with-john-gray-of-men-are-from-mars-fame/">An Evening in London With John Gray (of &quot;Men Are From Mars&quot; fame)</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
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<p>Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2008/09/23/the-credit-crunch-worries-and-your-well-being/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: The Credit Crunch, Worries and Your Well-being'>The Credit Crunch, Worries and Your Well-being</a> <small> On airlines, in their safety demos, they tell you...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2008/09/29/therapy-for-adult-skin-problems-acne-spots-and-pimples/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Therapy for Adult Skin Problems &#8211; Acne, Spots and Pimples'>Therapy for Adult Skin Problems &#8211; Acne, Spots and Pimples</a> <small> The second therapy being released under the low-cost Project...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/11/18/reetaluthra-com-is-live/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: ReetaLuthra.com is Live!'>ReetaLuthra.com is Live!</a> <small> Paradox of Reality has changed! As you may already...</small></li>
</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Feng Shui &#8211; Fact or Fiction?</title>
		<link>http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/10/05/feng-shui-fact-or-fiction/</link>
		<comments>http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/10/05/feng-shui-fact-or-fiction/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 05 Oct 2009 22:02:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Reeta Luthra</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Thoughts Create Reality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[belief]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[changing behaviour]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[deluded thinking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[goals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[illusion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[is feng shui real. feng shui]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-sabotage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[taking ownership]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://paradoxofreality.com/blog/?p=925</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Two things you should know. First, I&#8217;m fascinated by Feng Shui. Second, I HATE to cook. I always said that my ideal house would be one that had no kitchen.
No, this article is not about how I used Feng Shui to make me cook. I would never deliberately torture myself in that way.
In my teens, [...]<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/10/05/feng-shui-fact-or-fiction/">Feng Shui &#8211; Fact or Fiction?</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
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Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/05/07/my-language-challenge-part-3-curiosity-and-its-role-in-learning/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: My Language Challenge: Part 3 &#8211; Curiosity and its Role in Learning'>My Language Challenge: Part 3 &#8211; Curiosity and its Role in Learning</a> <small> This is part of a series covering my challenge...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/05/15/my-language-challenge-part-4-the-influence-of-thoughts-on-learning/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: My Language Challenge: Part 4 &#8211; The Influence of Thoughts on Learning'>My Language Challenge: Part 4 &#8211; The Influence of Thoughts on Learning</a> <small> This is part of a series covering my challenge...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2008/09/23/the-credit-crunch-worries-and-your-well-being/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: The Credit Crunch, Worries and Your Well-being'>The Credit Crunch, Worries and Your Well-being</a> <small> On airlines, in their safety demos, they tell you...</small></li>
</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-982" style="margin: 10px;" title="feng-shui-fact-or-fiction" src="http://paradoxofreality.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/feng-shui-fact-or-fiction.jpg" alt="feng-shui-fact-or-fiction" width="180" height="180" />Two things you should know. First, I&#8217;m fascinated by Feng Shui. Second, I HATE to cook. I always said that my ideal house would be one that had no kitchen.</p>
<p>No, this article is not about how I used Feng Shui to make me cook. I would never deliberately torture myself in that way.</p>
<p>In my teens, I studied Feng Shui and decided to use it to get myself a nice Range Rover. I really, truly, with all my heart wanted this Range Rover. I found out which part of the house needed to be &#8220;addressed&#8221; for this and set up the appropriate bait. (magazine cut-outs of Range Rovers). Then I sat back and waited.</p>
<p>Nothing happened. No dream car materialised. Ahh&#8230; Never mind, no harm done, it was just an experiment anyway.</p>
<p>Then last year, I went abroad over Dec 08 and Jan 09. Returning in February, I was so sad to find my one and only beloved houseplant was nearly dead. I had left it by mistake in a darkened room and it had received no sunlight or water for two months. It had shed it&#8217;s leaves and branches dropped off when I touched it.  I wanted to rescue this plant so I dragged it to the sunniest room in the house, which happened to be the kitchen. I gave it lots of water and a bit of talk therapy (Thank you Prince Charles).</p>
<p>A bit after that, I noticed I was spending more time in the kitchen <em>and enjoying it</em>!! It&#8217;s so bizarre &#8211; it&#8217;s almost like Reeta the anti-cook went to bed one night and Reeta the super-cook got out of bed the next morning. I say &#8220;super-cook&#8221; because it turns out that I can actually cook (my Mum will confirm). Most amazingly, I even do something that I never thought I would do in my lifetime &#8211; make sauces and freeze them!</p>
<p>Today, I see cooking as a normal activity and I can&#8217;t imagine how I hated it for so long.</p>
<p>Now I don&#8217;t know if this is<a title="I'm not going to die until I've read all my books" href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/04/im-not-going-to-die-until-i-finish-all-my-books/" target="_blank"> just another superstition that I imposed on myself </a>somehow or if I was lucky enough to inadvertantly kick-start some Feng Shui magic. Makes sense if you think about how a kitchen is the heart of a house and my sick plant received nourishment there. Perhaps I added to the plants recovery through adding more nourishment to the air through cooking and it returned the nourishment to me by allowing me enjoy doing something so fundamentally beneficial.</p>
<p>Or perhaps Feng Shui has absolutely nothing to do with it.</p>
<p>A more likely explanation is that I returned from my trip all refreshed and happy, got properly shocked by the state of the poor plant because I do genuinely have a soft spot for it, put it somewhere to give it nourishment and had a lightbulb moment regarding the relationship between nourishment and cooking and health. I don&#8217;t know.</p>
<p>What I do know is that changes in behaviour can happen very quickly and very dramatically <strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">when the conditions are right.</span></strong></p>
<p>I don&#8217;t think we need to wait for fate to grant us a magic moment. We can create this ourselves through conscious effort by taking ownership of what we want to change.</p>
<p>Once you&#8217;ve identified a behaviour you want to change, start by fully understanding the ways you are self-sabotaging your efforts in changing this behaviour. This self-sabotage represents the things you value and to change a behaviour with integrity, you must honour your values.</p>
<p><a title="The effect of thoughts on our behaviour" href="http://paradoxofreality.com/first_steps_in_coaching.html" target="_blank">Setting the right conditions in our minds</a> provides the <strong>thoughts </strong>and hence the <strong>behaviours </strong>that make achievement and success possible.</p>
<p>PS: If anyone has a spare Range Rover, I&#8217;m providing the conditions by way of a contact form on this site for you to get in touch <img src='http://paradoxofreality.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':-)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/10/05/feng-shui-fact-or-fiction/">Feng Shui &#8211; Fact or Fiction?</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
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<p>Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/05/07/my-language-challenge-part-3-curiosity-and-its-role-in-learning/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: My Language Challenge: Part 3 &#8211; Curiosity and its Role in Learning'>My Language Challenge: Part 3 &#8211; Curiosity and its Role in Learning</a> <small> This is part of a series covering my challenge...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/05/15/my-language-challenge-part-4-the-influence-of-thoughts-on-learning/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: My Language Challenge: Part 4 &#8211; The Influence of Thoughts on Learning'>My Language Challenge: Part 4 &#8211; The Influence of Thoughts on Learning</a> <small> This is part of a series covering my challenge...</small></li>
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		<title>When I cut off my nose to spite my face</title>
		<link>http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/16/when-i-cut-off-my-nose-to-spite-my-face/</link>
		<comments>http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/16/when-i-cut-off-my-nose-to-spite-my-face/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 15 Sep 2009 23:29:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Reeta Luthra</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anger]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[deluded thinking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional well-being]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[making decisions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[peak performance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[personal responsibility]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Poor Decisions: Cutting off your nose to spite your face]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Thoughts Create Reality]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://paradoxofreality.com/blog/?p=862</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[

Back in 1997 or so, I registered my first domain name for the bargain price of just under £90.
My new friends from across the pond (when they&#8217;d finished laughing) told me where I could buy a domain for a lot less. I listened attentively, acutely aware that I had messed up.
I clicked through to their [...]<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/16/when-i-cut-off-my-nose-to-spite-my-face/">When I cut off my nose to spite my face</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
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<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/06/29/the-double-edged-sword-of-help/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: The Double Edged Sword of Help'>The Double Edged Sword of Help</a> <small> Two questions: 1) When does helping someone become self-serving...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/01/04/when-an-nlp-technique-is-not-enough/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: When an NLP Technique is Not Enough'>When an NLP Technique is Not Enough</a> <small> Some years ago, I had just started a new...</small></li>
</ol>]]></description>
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<p><img class="size-medium wp-image-912 alignleft" style="margin: 10px;" title="cutting off your nose to spite your face" src="http://paradoxofreality.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/cutting-off-your-nose-to-spite-your-face-300x185.jpg" alt="cutting off your nose to spite your face" width="198" height="122" /></p>
<p>Back in 1997 or so, I registered my first domain name for the bargain price of just under £90.</p>
<p>My new friends from across the pond (when they&#8217;d finished laughing) told me where I could buy a domain for a lot less. I listened attentively, acutely aware that I had messed up.</p>
<p>I clicked through to their recommendation and breathed a sigh of relief. <em>This site was absolute rubbish!!!!</em> It looked put together by a circus clown who was no doubt preparing to run off with all the registration money.</p>
<p>Joyously, I went back to my original registrar and basked in the glory of his professional, tidy and sedate website before putting down a couple more £90&#8217;s for a couple more domains.</p>
<p>In my circle of friends, I was the first to go online, the first to break the pain barrier of learning HTML and the workings of the internet. I was a pioneer wasn&#8217;t I? I should be getting recognition for this, not criticism.</p>
<p>My sensitivity to an alternate viewpoint helped me stay doggedly assured that I had paid a fair price. So when I went to look at the cheaper site, my mind-set was already set to sabotage any rational decision-making. I was looking for faults. I was on the hunt for an excuse that would let me justify the price I had paid . The cosmetic ugliness assaulting my eyes was enough justification and I never really gave the content a chance.</p>
<p>I recognised this same pattern in a client who came to see me last year. He was in desperate need and kept telling me I was &#8220;his last chance&#8221;. But at every session I could see him looking for reasons to leave. He was critical of the process, making payment and of me.</p>
<p>Although his issue was significantly more troublesome than an expensive domain, the similarities were there.</p>
<ul>
<li><strong>The problem: </strong>He was ill. <em>I had an expensive domain.</em></li>
<li><strong>The goal:</strong> He&#8217;d been told coaching would make the pain go away. <em>I&#8217;d been told I could get a cheaper domain.</em></li>
<li><strong>The sensitivity:</strong> He wanted recognition for surviving his life thus far. <em>I wanted recognition for learning about the internet.</em></li>
<li><strong>The result:</strong> He held on to the expensive behaviours that he&#8217;d &#8220;earned&#8221; through pain. <em>Same as me.</em></li>
</ul>
<p>From time to time, we all make decisions that don&#8217;t really help our cause. That&#8217;s not a problem because that&#8217;s just human nature.</p>
<p><strong>Continuing to stick to a course of action when you have recognised a poor decision is a problem.</strong></p>
<p><img class="alignright size-medium wp-image-914" title="making good decisions, making amends" src="http://paradoxofreality.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/making-good-decisions-making-amends-300x225.jpg" alt="making good decisions, making amends" width="300" height="225" />You don&#8217;t have to go backwards trying to find the same fork in the road to re-do that decision. As soon as you recognise a poor decision, evaluate your opportunities/choices/options as they stand right now (not back then) and change course starting from today.</p>
<p>In case you&#8217;re wondering, I was wiser by the time renewal time came round and found <a title="123-reg.co.uk domain registration" href="http://www.123-reg.co.uk/affiliate.cgi?id=AF20377&amp;url=http://www.123-reg.co.uk/" target="_blank">123-reg.co.uk</a> for my domain registrations.</p>
<p>&#8212;<br />
Photo credit: <a title="http://www.sxc.hu/profile/sue_r_b" href="http://www.sxc.hu/profile/sue_r_b" target="_blank">sue r b</a><br />
&#8212;</p>
<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/16/when-i-cut-off-my-nose-to-spite-my-face/">When I cut off my nose to spite my face</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
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<p>Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/08/13/the-tapping-insiders-club/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: The Tapping Insiders Club'>The Tapping Insiders Club</a> <small> You may remember Nick Ortner &#8211; the man behind...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/06/29/the-double-edged-sword-of-help/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: The Double Edged Sword of Help'>The Double Edged Sword of Help</a> <small> Two questions: 1) When does helping someone become self-serving...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/01/04/when-an-nlp-technique-is-not-enough/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: When an NLP Technique is Not Enough'>When an NLP Technique is Not Enough</a> <small> Some years ago, I had just started a new...</small></li>
</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Poll: How do you support your emotional well-being?</title>
		<link>http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/13/poll-how-do-you-support-your-emotional-well-being/</link>
		<comments>http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/13/poll-how-do-you-support-your-emotional-well-being/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 13 Sep 2009 01:55:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Reeta Luthra</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anger]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional well-being]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stress]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://paradoxofreality.com/blog/?p=887</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Emotional well-being gives you backup when things get difficult. You let old niggles go, you fester less, have better perspective and you start making stronger decisions.
Long-term exposure to dark emotions like stress, anger and resentment can make us ill, so doing something little every day that helps chip away at these feelings is as important [...]<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/13/poll-how-do-you-support-your-emotional-well-being/">Poll: How do you support your emotional well-being?</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
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<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/07/20/what-happened-to-the-new-year/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: What Happened to the New Year?'>What Happened to the New Year?</a> <small> Or to be more precise &#8211; what happened to...</small></li>
</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p>Emotional well-being gives you backup when things get difficult. You let old niggles go, you fester less, have better perspective and you start making stronger decisions.</p>
<p>Long-term exposure to dark emotions like stress, anger and resentment can make us ill, so doing something little every day that helps chip away at these feelings is as important as eating and sleeping.</p>
<p><strong><span style="color: #993300;">As a reader of Paradox of Reality, I&#8217;d love to know what you do and their pros and cons. Do some methods work better than others? Please leave a comment below.</span></strong></p>
<p>(poll now closed)</p>
<p><strong><br />
</strong></p>
<p><strong><br />
</strong></p>
<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/13/poll-how-do-you-support-your-emotional-well-being/">Poll: How do you support your emotional well-being?</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
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<p>Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/11/18/reetaluthra-com-is-live/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: ReetaLuthra.com is Live!'>ReetaLuthra.com is Live!</a> <small> Paradox of Reality has changed! As you may already...</small></li>
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		<title>The Sticky Web of Linking Up Social Networks</title>
		<link>http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/11/the-sticky-web-of-linked-up-social-networks/</link>
		<comments>http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/11/the-sticky-web-of-linked-up-social-networks/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 11 Sep 2009 22:34:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Reeta Luthra</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Social Networks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ecademy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[facebook]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[goal setting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[goals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[is it safe to link social networks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[linkedin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[linking social networks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[social media]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[twitter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[what next for social media]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://paradoxofreality.com/blog/?p=848</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Having dipped a toe into social media, I&#8217;m finding it&#8217;s a whirlpool sucking me in.
I&#8217;m a techie and I&#8217;m also pro-privacy. So while I&#8217;m hooked by the technology, I worry about where all this is leading. Is social media immunising us against privacy concerns? Perhaps even numbing our resistance to increasing levels of government paranoia-mongering?
Staying [...]<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/11/the-sticky-web-of-linked-up-social-networks/">The Sticky Web of Linking Up Social Networks</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
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Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2010/01/06/how-to-leverage-more-of-what-you-want/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: How To Leverage More of What You Want'>How To Leverage More of What You Want</a> <small> Have you ever decided to do something only to...</small></li>
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</ol>]]></description>
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<p style="text-align: left;"><img class="size-full wp-image-870 alignleft" style="margin: 10px;" title="sticky-web-linked-social-media" src="http://paradoxofreality.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/sticky-web-linked-social-media.jpg" alt="sticky-web-linked-social-media" width="228" height="193" />Having dipped a toe into social media, I&#8217;m finding it&#8217;s a whirlpool sucking me in.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m a techie and I&#8217;m also pro-privacy. So while I&#8217;m hooked by the technology, I worry about where all this is leading. Is social media immunising us against privacy concerns? Perhaps even numbing our resistance to increasing levels of <a title="The UK Govt &amp; revenue generating paranoia" href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8250795.stm" target="_blank">government paranoia-mongering</a>?</p>
<h1><span style="color: #993300;">Staying aware</span></h1>
<p>The Big Brother connotations have been around for a while now. They were there in the early days, circa 1995, when online interactivity consisted mainly of independent silos &#8211; Usenet, forums and Inter-Relay Chat (IRC) applications.</p>
<p>Now, the silos are broken down and you can Stumble a bookmark to your Twitpic photo which then gets fed to Twitter which then sends it on to Friendfeed which sends it to your Blog which displays it on Facebook&#8230;</p>
<p>Also, as people tend to use their real names, <a title="http://www.fastcompany.com/blog/kit-eaton/technomix/if-youre-applying-job-censor-your-facebook-page" href="http://www.fastcompany.com/blog/kit-eaton/technomix/if-youre-applying-job-censor-your-facebook-page" target="_blank">employers</a>, disgruntled ex-partners and <a title="http://www.claxtonlegal.com/police-investigations-and-social-networking-sites/" href="http://www.claxtonlegal.com/police-investigations-and-social-networking-sites/" target="_blank">the police</a> can easily track what you&#8217;re up to.  Then there&#8217;s <a title="http://www.dailylobo.com/index.php/article/2009/09/facebook_quizzes_leak_user_info" href="http://www.dailylobo.com/index.php/article/2009/09/facebook_quizzes_leak_user_info" target="_blank">dodgy activities from third party applications</a> sneaking in to steal your data. Not to forget the Internet Archive that stores everything for posterity.</p>
<p>Internet best practices add a layer of cushioning. Hide your date of birth &amp; email address, make liberal use of privacy options and choose an obscure email password reminder question &#8211; not your maiden name etc. And obviously, <a title="Live results for twitter people who hate their jobs" href="http://twitter.com/#search?q=hate%20my%20job" target="_blank">if you hate your job, don&#8217;t twitter about it</a>!</p>
<p>Today&#8217;s social media carries a seductive illusion of control &#8211; sometimes I think it must really be 30% proof because some of the stuff on twitter surely can&#8217;t have been posted while the sender was sober.</p>
<p>Despite knowing this (and probably being guilty myself of one or two &#8220;what-was-i-thinking&#8221; posts), I&#8217;m happily going for a swim in this whirlpool&#8230;</p>
<h1><span style="color: #993300;">Knowing what you want</span></h1>
<p><span style="color: #000000;">Social media is a real time-sink so knowing what you want from it becomes a way of helping keep you on the straight and narrow. </span></p>
<p><span style="color: #000000;">Some people want to simply keep in touch with friends and family, to post photos and exchange some easy conversation. Others want to expand the reach of their business network. </span></p>
<p>My goals are:</p>
<ol>
<li>Keep in touch with friends and family</li>
<li>Keep abreast of changing technology &#8211; I&#8217;m an ex-techie now working alone in a non-techie field so linking up with techies online helps me out a lot</li>
<li>Learn from people &#8211; get information, hints and tips on subjects I care about</li>
<li>Get the word out when I post a new blog</li>
</ol>
<p>Knowing what my goals are helps me to identify the most appropriate social networks for my needs. Bungling up is all part of the game as I found out when I posted information about depression to my personal facebook page, leaving my friends and family wondering what I was on&#8230;</p>
<h1><span style="color: #993300;">Linking up the Network</span></h1>
<p>Up until a few days ago, my social media activities were more or less independent of each other and I was only active on a couple. I&#8217;m still only active on a couple but I&#8217;ve connected them up to make things a bit more streamlined. I&#8217;m already getting messages on one network initiated by something I posted on another.</p>
<p>Here is what my social media network looks like now &#8211; you&#8217;re welcome to click through &amp; connect&#8230;</p>
<ul>
<li><a title="Reeta on twitter" href="http://twitter.com/reetaluthra" target="_blank"><strong>Twitter</strong></a> &#8211; This is my current favourite. My tweets feed through to ecademy and friendfeed.</li>
<li><strong>*<span style="text-decoration: line-through;">Facebook personal page</span></strong> &#8211; My links and notes feed through to friendfeed. It imports from *<strong><span style="text-decoration: line-through;">NetworkedBlogs</span></strong>.</li>
<li><strong>*<span style="text-decoration: line-through;">Facebook fanpage</span></strong> &#8211; This feeds through to my Facebook personal page and facebook newsfeeds of those who are subscribed. It also imports from NetworkedBlogs.</li>
<li><strong>*<span style="text-decoration: line-through;">Facebook group</span></strong> &#8211; I&#8217;ve kept this standalone for two reasons: 1) It&#8217;s had no activity for ages and 2) facebook doesn&#8217;t let groups connect to anywhere else!</li>
<li><a title="Reeta on friendfeed" href="http://friendfeed.com/reetaluthra" target="_blank"><strong>Friendfeed</strong></a> &#8211; This is my newest network. It feeds through to Twitter, the Paradox of Reality website and ecademy.  It imports from NetworkedBlogs, Twitter, StumbleUpon, <strong><span style="font-weight: normal;">Facebook personal page</span>, </strong><strong><span style="font-weight: normal;">LinkedIn</span> </strong>and the Paradox of Reality Blog.</li>
<li><a title="Reeta on ecademy" href="http://www.ecademy.com/user/reetaluthra%20pindoria" target="_blank"><strong>Ecademy</strong></a>- This imports from friendfeed, Twitter and the Paradox of Reality Blog.</li>
<li><a title="Reeta on LinkedIn" href="http://www.linkedin.com/in/reetaluthrapindoria" target="_blank"><strong>LinkedIn</strong></a> &#8211; This feeds through to friendfeed and imports from the Paradox of Reality Blog</li>
<li><a title="Paradox of Reality Blog" href="http://paradoxofreality.com/" target="_blank"><strong>Paradox of Reality Blog</strong></a> &#8211; Although a blog is not a true network, it still falls under the social media banner. This feeds through to NetworkedBlogs, friendfeed, ecademy and LinkedIn.</li>
</ul>
<p>Linking the networks together means that my goals become easier to manage. Friendfeed especially is a nice hub allowing people to take advantage of features from various sites in one place. I&#8217;m deliberately not feeding twitter to facebook because I haven&#8217;t found a way to feed it to just my facebook &#8220;fanpage&#8221;. It seems it has to go to the personal page too which is something that is not suitable for me &#8211; friends &amp; family wouldn&#8217;t want to hear my twitters.</p>
<p><span style="font-weight: normal; font-size: 13px;">Each social network has a different flavour that impacts how you interact on it.  Twitter is a constant stream of real-time information from people you&#8217;ve actively added in order to read what they have to say. I get a lot of useful information from there. LinkedIn is a lot more formal.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: normal; font-size: 13px;">Linking networks makes online social activity easier and efficient for those who are using it to exchange ideas with new people. But if you&#8217;re also using social media for personal socialising and are thinking of linking networks, it&#8217;s worth double-checking your privacy controls and setting your own rules on what is visible to people you&#8217;ve just met.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: normal; font-size: 13px;"><strong>*Update December 2009 &#8211; I deleted my facebook account because it was no longer helping me with my goals.</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-weight: normal; font-size: 13px;">&#8212;<br />
Photo Credit: <a title="http://www.blog.spoongraphics.co.uk" href="http://www.blog.spoongraphics.co.uk" target="_blank">SpoonGraphics</a><br />
&#8212; </span></p>
<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/11/the-sticky-web-of-linked-up-social-networks/">The Sticky Web of Linking Up Social Networks</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
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<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/11/18/reetaluthra-com-is-live/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: ReetaLuthra.com is Live!'>ReetaLuthra.com is Live!</a> <small> Paradox of Reality has changed! As you may already...</small></li>
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		<title>Declutter your mind, Achieve your goal</title>
		<link>http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/10/declutter-your-mind-achieve-your-goal/</link>
		<comments>http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/10/declutter-your-mind-achieve-your-goal/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 10 Sep 2009 17:56:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Reeta Luthra</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Thoughts Create Reality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[acheive goal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[belief]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[clutter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[confidence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[declutter your mind]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Emotional Conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mind clutter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[NLP]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://paradoxofreality.com/blog/?p=850</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
One of the basics of better thinking is to acknowledge where your thoughts could be better.
If you&#8217;ve read any decent self development books, you know you&#8217;re supposed to turn these areas into goals to achieve &#8211; notice what happens to your thoughts as you read the following statements:

My goal is to be a confident public [...]<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/10/declutter-your-mind-achieve-your-goal/">Declutter your mind, Achieve your goal</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
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<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/05/15/my-language-challenge-part-4-the-influence-of-thoughts-on-learning/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: My Language Challenge: Part 4 &#8211; The Influence of Thoughts on Learning'>My Language Challenge: Part 4 &#8211; The Influence of Thoughts on Learning</a> <small> This is part of a series covering my challenge...</small></li>
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</ol>]]></description>
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<p style="text-align: left;"><img class="size-medium wp-image-855 aligncenter" style="margin-top: 15px;" title="Declutter your mind, achieve your goal" src="http://paradoxofreality.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/declutter-your-mind-achieve-your-goal-224x300.jpg" alt="Declutter your mind, achieve your goal" width="224" height="300" /><strong>One of the basics of better thinking is to acknowledge where your thoughts could be better.</strong></p>
<p>If you&#8217;ve read any decent self development books, you know you&#8217;re supposed to turn these areas into goals to achieve &#8211; notice what happens to your thoughts as you read the following statements:</p>
<ul>
<li>My goal is to be a confident public speaker</li>
<li>I want to start my own business</li>
<li>I&#8217;m scared of sweating, freezing up and making a fool of myself</li>
<li>I&#8217;m dreading being in this dead-end job forever</li>
</ul>
<p>Chances are that you found the first two statements uplifting and the others less inspiring.</p>
<p>The idea of having positive goals is that they put an attractive vision of yourself inside your head, making it seem achievable so you can work towards it.  The concept is sound and is an important part of the &#8220;Better Thinking, Better Success&#8221; model.</p>
<p><strong><span style="color: #993300;">But identifying a goal doesn&#8217;t mean that you&#8217;ll automatically believe you can do it.</span></strong></p>
<p>When you find yourself unable to move past the problem towards the goal you want, it&#8217;s because &#8220;mind clutter&#8221; is preventing you from consistently believing in this positive goal. This is what tells you that you need to redefine the area where your thoughts could be better. Mind clutter is often at odds with your goal.</p>
<p>Continuing the example of confidence, some possible mind clutter could be:</p>
<ul>
<li><strong>It&#8217;s not polite</strong>&#8230; because Mum/Dad/Teacher said it&#8217;s showing off.</li>
<li><strong>I don&#8217;t know enough</strong> to be taken seriously&#8230; Is this really true? Could you prepare? Is there more mind clutter underneath this thought?</li>
<li><strong>My friends won&#8217;t like me </strong>if I change&#8230; Are you afraid you won&#8217;t be able to accept a more confident you?</li>
<li><strong>It&#8217;s not me</strong>. I&#8217;m not meant to be the center of attention&#8230; because I had buck teeth when I was young and everyone laughed.</li>
</ul>
<p>Dig into your thoughts about why you can&#8217;t believe in your goal and you&#8217;ll unearth the real blocks in your mind. Writing/journaling is an effective way to do this.</p>
<p>It takes courage and persistance to dig in this way &#8211; some thoughts are poignant, some silly and others still have sharp thorns. If you don&#8217;t acknowledge them, they&#8217;ll continue affecting you, perhaps limiting your opportunities, in subconscious ways. Acknowledging them means you can start working to dull their impact on your life.</p>
<p>This is something I started to do myself some years ago. I found that my &#8220;sticky thinking&#8221;, stress or fears often had some musty-dusty mind clutter hiding underneath. Identifying this mind clutter let me understand the specific areas that were keeping the problem alive.</p>
<p>Better Thinking. Better Success.</p>
<p>&#8212;<br />
Photo credit: <a title="http://www.sxc.hu/profile/saivann" href="http://www.sxc.hu/profile/saivann" target="_blank">saivann</a><br />
&#8212;</p>
<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/10/declutter-your-mind-achieve-your-goal/">Declutter your mind, Achieve your goal</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
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<p>Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2008/09/16/a-goal-by-any-other-name/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: A Goal by Any Other Name'>A Goal by Any Other Name</a> <small> The first time that the word &#8220;goals&#8221; entered my...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/05/15/my-language-challenge-part-4-the-influence-of-thoughts-on-learning/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: My Language Challenge: Part 4 &#8211; The Influence of Thoughts on Learning'>My Language Challenge: Part 4 &#8211; The Influence of Thoughts on Learning</a> <small> This is part of a series covering my challenge...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/03/16/procrastination-or-i-want-it-badly-but-cant-do-what-it-takes/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: 4 Reasons Behind Your Procrastination'>4 Reasons Behind Your Procrastination</a> <small> My friend Raju is pleased about his redundancy as...</small></li>
</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Live the buzz about yourself</title>
		<link>http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/09/live-the-buzz-about-yourself/</link>
		<comments>http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/09/live-the-buzz-about-yourself/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 09 Sep 2009 00:48:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Reeta Luthra</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Thoughts Create Reality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[confidence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[create a buzz about yourself]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional well-being]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[give yourself a chance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[NLP]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[peak performance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self development]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://paradoxofreality.com/blog/?p=838</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Forget the British stiff upper lip for a moment. Forget the crassness of blowing your own trumpet. Forget the silly-billyness of positive affirmations. Most of all, forget everything you&#8217;ve been told about polite self-restraint.
Just for today, you&#8217;re going to enter a new reality and it&#8217;s one where you are on the cover of all the [...]<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/09/live-the-buzz-about-yourself/">Live the buzz about yourself</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
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Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/11/18/reetaluthra-com-is-live/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: ReetaLuthra.com is Live!'>ReetaLuthra.com is Live!</a> <small> Paradox of Reality has changed! As you may already...</small></li>
</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-839" title="live-the-buzz" src="http://paradoxofreality.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/live-the-buzz-291x300.jpg" alt="live-the-buzz" width="291" height="300" />Forget the British stiff upper lip for a moment. Forget the crassness of blowing your own trumpet. Forget the silly-billyness of positive affirmations. Most of all, forget everything you&#8217;ve been told about polite self-restraint.</p>
<p>Just for today, you&#8217;re going to enter a new reality and it&#8217;s one where you are on the cover of all the magazines (in a good way) and every single talk show wants to book you for the headline slot.</p>
<p>Your mission&#8230; if you dare to accept it&#8230; is to spend the day believing your own hype. The rules are simple:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">1) Choose your persona<br />
2) Dress in a way that makes this persona proud<br />
3) Eat, walk, speak and make all your decisions using the mindset of your inner persona</p>
<p>Yes, you can sashay all day long if you want to&#8230; so long as at night-time, before you go to bed, you think about how you lived the buzz about yourself and note what you&#8217;d like to carry through into tomorrow.</p>
<p>I think I&#8217;ll do this one too &#8211; let me know how you got on!</p>
<p>&#8212;<br />
Photo Credit: <a title="http://www.sxc.hu/profile/katagaci" href="http://www.sxc.hu/profile/katagaci" target="_blank">Katagaci</a><br />
&#8212;</p>
<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/09/live-the-buzz-about-yourself/">Live the buzz about yourself</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
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		<title>I&#039;m not going to die until I finish all my books</title>
		<link>http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/04/im-not-going-to-die-until-i-finish-all-my-books/</link>
		<comments>http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/04/im-not-going-to-die-until-i-finish-all-my-books/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 04 Sep 2009 20:05:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Reeta Luthra</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Thoughts Create Reality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[creating superstition]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[deluded thinking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional well-being]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[NLP]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[seeing is believing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[subconscious belief system]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[subconscious thoughts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[superstitions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[superstitious]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://paradoxofreality.com/blog/?p=806</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[

I&#8217;ve always been a bookworm and I have thousands of books &#8211; fiction and non-fiction.
Recently my husband observed I had a lot of unfinished books lying around.
&#8220;Huh?&#8221; I said.
I hadn&#8217;t noticed this but for many months, I&#8217;ve been leaving the last chapter of every book unread. The book simply &#8220;fizzles out&#8221; when I get near [...]<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/04/im-not-going-to-die-until-i-finish-all-my-books/">I&#039;m not going to die until I finish all my books</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
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<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/10/declutter-your-mind-achieve-your-goal/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Declutter your mind, Achieve your goal'>Declutter your mind, Achieve your goal</a> <small> One of the basics of better thinking is to...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/06/13/how-valuable-is-face-value/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: How Valuable is Face Value?'>How Valuable is Face Value?</a> <small> I&#8217;m in Dubai where there is much construction taking...</small></li>
</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p style="text-align: center;"><img class="size-medium wp-image-811 aligncenter" style="margin-top: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; border: 1px solid black;" title="books" src="http://paradoxofreality.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/books-300x228.jpg" alt="books" width="300" height="228" /></p>
<p>I&#8217;ve always been a bookworm and I have thousands of books &#8211; fiction and non-fiction.</p>
<p>Recently my husband observed I had a lot of unfinished books lying around.</p>
<p>&#8220;Huh?&#8221; I said.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">I hadn&#8217;t noticed this but for many months, I&#8217;ve been leaving the last chapter of every book unread. The book simply &#8220;fizzles out&#8221; when I get near to the end and I start on a new one.</p>
<p>I thought this was very curious but didn&#8217;t think anything of it until I suddenly remembered a two minute &#8220;event&#8221; that had happened a year ago.</p>
<p>I was getting on a plane holding &#8220;<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/014095144X?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=paraofreal-20&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=014095144X">The Tao of Pooh</a><img style="border:none !important; margin:0px !important;" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=paraofreal-20&amp;l=as2&amp;o=1&amp;a=014095144X" border="0" alt="" width="1" height="1" />&#8221; and thought to myself &#8220;I hope this plane doesn&#8217;t blow up before I finish this.&#8221; Then I started thinking about all the lovely books I had at home and promised myself that I wouldn&#8217;t die until I&#8217;d finished all my books. (as one does)</p>
<p>Evidently, ever since then, I&#8217;ve been subconsciously assuring an eternal life for myself by leaving every book unfinished.</p>
<p>The amazing thing is that I&#8217;ve been doing all this without even being aware I&#8217;m doing it. No goal setting, no deliberate intention, no effort. I superstitioned (great word) myself while getting onto an aeroplane and now am doomed to never ever know how the story ends.  (I&#8217;ve been leaving murder mysteries unfinished too).</p>
<p>We make an off-the-cuff promise to ourselves and our subconscious tries to carry it out for us. I wonder how many of our behaviours start so innocently and continue under the radar preventing us doing what we want to do.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s not always bad though- the right compliment at the right time embeds confidence. What&#8217;s the word for a helpful superstition?</p>
<p>A de-superstitioning has now taken place and I will definitely finish my current book (even if I have to superglue it to my hands) &#8211; &#8220;<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060748125?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=paraofreal-20&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=0060748125">When Nietzsche Wept</a><img style="border:none !important; margin:0px !important;" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=paraofreal-20&amp;l=as2&amp;o=1&amp;a=0060748125" border="0" alt="" width="1" height="1" />&#8221; &#8211; an excellent read by the way.  I&#8217;ll finish ALL my books&#8230; except for perhaps one&#8230; well, you never know&#8230; <img src='http://paradoxofreality.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_wink.gif' alt=';)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
<p>Do you have any superstitious behaviours that you are aware of? (or aren&#8217;t aware of&#8230;)</p>
<p>Photo credit: <a title="http://www.sxc.hu/profile/lusi" href="http://www.sxc.hu/profile/lusi" target="_blank">Lusi</a></p>
<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/04/im-not-going-to-die-until-i-finish-all-my-books/">I&#039;m not going to die until I finish all my books</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
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<p>Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/10/05/feng-shui-fact-or-fiction/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Feng Shui &#8211; Fact or Fiction?'>Feng Shui &#8211; Fact or Fiction?</a> <small> Two things you should know. First, I&#8217;m fascinated by...</small></li>
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		<title>3 Powerful Ways to Reduce Anger &amp; Cultivate Forgiveness</title>
		<link>http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/03/3-power-attitudes-to-reduce-anger-cultivate-forgiveness/</link>
		<comments>http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/03/3-power-attitudes-to-reduce-anger-cultivate-forgiveness/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 03 Sep 2009 18:14:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Reeta Luthra</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Strategies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anger]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[blame]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[can't forgive]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cultivate forgiveness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional well-being]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[forgiveness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mind chatter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[personal responsibility]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[powerful way to forgive]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[reduce anger]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Thoughts Create Reality]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://paradoxofreality.com/blog/?p=737</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[

A client described a sore spot in her soul; the result of the way someone treated her. She&#8217;s found that anger makes the pain easier to bear &#8211; although she admits that this is probably not the best strategy in the world!
Sore spots worry me &#8211; I worry that sore spots in our soul create [...]<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/03/3-power-attitudes-to-reduce-anger-cultivate-forgiveness/">3 Powerful Ways to Reduce Anger &amp; Cultivate Forgiveness</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
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</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p style="text-align: center;"><img class="size-medium wp-image-799 aligncenter" style="margin-top: 10px; margin-bottom: 15px;" title="reduce anger cultivate forgiveness" src="http://paradoxofreality.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/reduce-anger-cultivate-forgiveness-300x225.jpg" alt="reduce anger cultivate forgiveness" width="300" height="225" /></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">A client described a sore spot in her soul; the result of the way someone treated her. She&#8217;s found that anger makes the pain easier to bear &#8211; although she admits that this is probably not the best strategy in the world!</p>
<p>Sore spots worry me &#8211; I worry that sore spots in our soul create trouble further on down the line with regards to our health and well-being.</p>
<p>Last week, my Dad observed that our natural state is Peace. He says the evidence for this lies between the moment after we first wake up and the moment before our thoughts start reminding us of disturbances from the people and events around us.</p>
<p>These disturbances  affect our state of mind and distort our ability to prevent them from morphing into &#8220;sore spots in the soul&#8221;.  One way to develop a stronger resistance to disurbance is through cultivating an attitude of forgiveness.</p>
<p>Now in case you&#8217;re about to run a mile, I&#8217;m not suggesting that you throw away your worldly goods and go around blessing your enemies (although can you imagine their reaction if you did!).</p>
<p>I&#8217;m defining forgiveness as the ability to <span style="text-decoration: underline;">stop disturbance finding a home in your soul</span>.</p>
<p>Developing the following habits helps cultivate this ability:</p>
<h2 style="font-size: 1.5em;"><span style="color: #000080;">Reconcile Your Mind Chatter (&#8221;Noise&#8221;)</span></h2>
<p><strong>Forgiveness lives in your body under all the &#8220;noise&#8221;.<em> </em></strong>You get to it through a psychological process of self-reconciliation.</p>
<p>Although forgiveness is divine, there&#8217;s not much divinity going on inside us when we are hurting. We can&#8217;t pretend we don&#8217;t mind when actually we do mind deeply. We weren&#8217;t the ones that asked for such betrayal or behaved so insensitively, so why in the world should it be up to us to undo the damage that was caused? Don&#8217;t our feelings count? Where&#8217;s the justice?</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">The Process of forgiveness (it is a process, not simply a single thought or act) needs us to see what is hurting inside us. Perhaps re-evaluate our values. It asks us to re-examine our priorities &#8211; but in this there is a danger that our views might change. That we&#8217;ll be letting the other person &#8220;win&#8221;. <em>And they don&#8217;t deserve to win because they wronged us! </em>There is a danger that we might actually feel forgiveness, and if that happens, how can we have what we really want &#8211; proof that <strong>we matter</strong>?</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">These conflicts can be brutal and the &#8220;noise&#8221; gives the illusion they are unchangeable. Perhaps this is why some people hold on to anger, turning a normal short-term reaction into something long-term and insidious.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Being open to questioning your own attitudes, thoughts and reactions helps create a mindset that grows to challenge this internal conflict.</p>
<h2 style="font-size: 1.5em;"><span style="color: #000080;">Refuse to Blame</span></h2>
<p><strong>Nurturing anger and blame is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.</strong></p>
<p>Anger and blame keeps us reliving the experience so we stay attached to pain and the hurt. It clouds our vision and perpetually reminds us that we have reason to be this unhappy. We get used to being in emotional pain. It turns us into martyrs.</p>
<p>When you find yourself blaming someone else, try consciously refusing to finish that sentence or thought. Let it remain unformed and with practice, your mind will move onto other things. It&#8217;s not about denial. It&#8217;s about not torturing yourself.</p>
<p>Remember that refusing to blame is not the same as accepting what happened. When you refuse to blame, you give your own wisdom a chance to help you.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s only when we stop filling our mind with blame and accusations that we can make space for new thoughts to enter. Forgiveness and self-reconciliation need this space in your head to flourish.</p>
<h2><span style="color: #000080;">Ask Yourself: Who will you be afterwards?</span></h2>
<p><strong>Forgiving someone changes the way you see them. It also changes you. </strong></p>
<p>Fear of the &#8220;consequences&#8221; of forgiveness can make us hesitant to forgive.</p>
<ul>
<li>&#8220;People will disapprove&#8221;</li>
<li>&#8220;I&#8217;ll lose face by taking the first step&#8221;</li>
<li>&#8220;It&#8217;ll be like how it was before&#8221;</li>
</ul>
<p>The fears provide an opportunity to examine your reaction. For example, if you think you&#8217;ll lose face, is there a history of let-downs with this person? Is there actually a different event that you need to forgive before you can forgive them for this one?</p>
<p>The process you go through in order to reconcile the fears changes your self perception. A part of you strengthens. Some things no longer matter while others become more important. You change in the perception of others. One person thinks your decision to forgive is crazy while someone else thinks you&#8217;re &#8220;well cool&#8221;.  How much will you be influenced by (and directed by) other people in this matter? How comfortable are you in the role of someone who has forgiven?</p>
<p>Sometimes you can only forgive in private, silently and secretly because the other person is not a physical part of your life anymore. Nobody knows what pain you were in nor the relief you feel now. It&#8217;s a big transition &#8211; who are you now that you&#8217;re not feeling the pain?</p>
<p><strong>Forgiveness is perceived as something you have to do for the other person. I think it&#8217;s something you do for yourself.</strong></p>
<p>You know that you have forgiven when you feel the peace in your body, when your language does not contain blame and when you no longer bring up the incident in future arguments.</p>
<p>These are just three mindsets that help cultivate the ability to stop disturbance finding a home in your soul. Do you have any others? To put the question another way, what obstacles do you find standing in the way of forgiveness?</p>
<p><strong>Related article at</strong> <strong><a title="Stress and Yoru Health" href="http:reetaluthra.com/blog/" class="broken_link" >ReetaLuthra.com</a></strong>: <a title="Forgiving Your Way To Personal Development and Better Health" href="http://reetaluthra.com/blog/2010/01/29/forgiving-your-way-to-personal-development-and-better-health/">Forgiving Your Way to Personal Development and Better Health</a></p>
<p>&#8212;<br />
Photo credit: <a title="http://www.sxc.hu/profile/ngould" href="http://www.sxc.hu/profile/ngould" target="_blank">ngould</a><br />
&#8212;</p>
<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/09/03/3-power-attitudes-to-reduce-anger-cultivate-forgiveness/">3 Powerful Ways to Reduce Anger &amp; Cultivate Forgiveness</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
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		<title>The Tapping Insiders Club &#8211; Last Call for Chartered Membership</title>
		<link>http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/08/31/the-tapping-insiders-club-last-call-for-chartered-membership/</link>
		<comments>http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/08/31/the-tapping-insiders-club-last-call-for-chartered-membership/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 30 Aug 2009 23:32:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Reeta Luthra</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[
If you are thinking of joining the Tapping Insiders Club, this is to let you know that their reduced charter membership prices end soon &#8211; in less than 2 days according to an email I just received from Nick Ortner.
Chartered Membership
Chartered membership is what you get for coming in early into the Tapping Insiders Club [...]<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/08/31/the-tapping-insiders-club-last-call-for-chartered-membership/">The Tapping Insiders Club &#8211; Last Call for Chartered Membership</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
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Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/08/13/the-tapping-insiders-club/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: The Tapping Insiders Club'>The Tapping Insiders Club</a> <small> You may remember Nick Ortner &#8211; the man behind...</small></li>
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			<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p>If you are thinking of joining the Tapping Insiders Club, this is to let you know that their reduced charter membership prices end soon &#8211; in less than 2 days according to an email I just received from Nick Ortner.</p>
<h2><strong>Chartered Membership</strong></h2>
<p>Chartered membership is what you get for coming in early into the Tapping Insiders Club &#8211; It&#8217;s a reduced rate membership that Nick Ortner is offering to those interested in EFT, Tapping and Meridian techniques, in order to create a great community and build a great resource.</p>
<p>Charter members are a part of the team that helps to create this club. Charter prices start off at 33% lower than the regular price and go up to as much as 47% off for those that join for a year. People who join now get to stay at the low prices that they join at.</p>
<ul>
<li>Those that join on the month to month get to stay at $19.95/month.</li>
<li>Those that join for 6 months get to stay at $17.33/month.</li>
<li>Those that join for a year get to stay at $15.75 a month.</li>
</ul>
<p>Nick&#8217;s also offering a no-risk 30 day money back guarantee.</p>
<h2><strong>Take a look</strong></h2>
<p>If you&#8217;ve not had a chance to take a look at Nick&#8217;s site yet, visit it now to get a taste of what he is offering and what you can expect once you&#8217;ve joined. The club is a community based center of information helping you with your well-being every day.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s a good supplement if you are having sessions with a personal coach or therapist. Alternatively, it&#8217;s a good way to keep on top of your own well-being yourself.  <strong>Remember</strong> that sometimes, you do need to visit a doctor or a therapist for personal help with an issue. Please don&#8217;t use this club as a DIY means of avoiding professional help when you need it.</p>
<p>Nick Ortner &#8211; Try it on Everything &#8211; The Tapping Insiders Club</p>
<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/08/31/the-tapping-insiders-club-last-call-for-chartered-membership/">The Tapping Insiders Club &#8211; Last Call for Chartered Membership</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
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<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2010/02/01/tapping-world-summit-2010/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Tapping World Summit 2010'>Tapping World Summit 2010</a> <small> Following the enormous success of last year&#8217;s first ever...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/04/03/eft-world-summit-april-2009/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: EFT World Summit April 2009'>EFT World Summit April 2009</a> <small> Update: 1st Feb 2010: The 2009 EFT Tapping World...</small></li>
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		<title>Can NLP Hurt Your Relationships?</title>
		<link>http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/08/26/can-nlp-hurt-your-relationships/</link>
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		<pubDate>Wed, 26 Aug 2009 17:18:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Reeta Luthra</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://paradoxofreality.com/blog/?p=687</guid>
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As a part of my continuing professional development, I attend a number of courses every year in the field of personal development. After some of the &#8220;deeper&#8221; courses that incorporate lots of exercises, I notice that one or two people inevitably end a long-term relationship soon afterwards.
NLP encourages questions and gives you the ability to [...]<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/08/26/can-nlp-hurt-your-relationships/">Can NLP Hurt Your Relationships?</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
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<p><img class="size-medium wp-image-708  alignleft" style="margin-left: 15px; margin-right: 15px;" title="Can NLP Hurt Your Relationships" src="http://paradoxofreality.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/Can-NLP-Hurt-Your-Relationships-300x198.jpg" alt="Can NLP Hurt Your Relationship" width="210" height="139" /></p>
<p>As a part of my continuing professional development, I attend a number of courses every year in the field of personal development. After some of the &#8220;deeper&#8221; courses that incorporate lots of exercises, I notice that one or two people inevitably end a long-term relationship soon afterwards.</p>
<p>NLP encourages questions and gives you the ability to understand and influence the deepest recesses of your mind. It&#8217;s an ability that is as delicate as it is empowering. Delicate because <strong>NLP </strong><strong>requires constant, conscious awareness. At least initially.</strong></p>
<p><strong><span style="font-weight: normal;">Consider these two NLP Principles:</span></strong></p>
<ul>
<li><span style="color: #ff0000;"><strong>Principle One:</strong> The meaning of your communication is the response you get.</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #ff0000;"><strong>Principle Two: </strong>People make the best choice they can at the time.</span></li>
</ul>
<p>Now consider the following conversation and how these principles were overlooked in the heat of the moment.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em><strong>Tina:</strong></em><em> Darling, I&#8217;m going to nip over to the pub tonight with my friend Jenny.</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em><strong>James: </strong></em><em>That&#8217;s a bit short notice Sweetheart. You&#8217;re the one who says we don&#8217;t spend enough time together.</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em><strong>Tina:</strong></em><em> But you&#8217;ll be watching football with Dave and Steve &#8211; just thinking about it is making my stomach turn. What do you expect me to do&#8230; sit in the other room all night on my own?!</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em><strong>James:</strong></em><em> Tell Jenny to come round instead. Steve fancies her and it&#8217;ll make his night.</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em><strong>Tina:</strong></em><em> Jenny thinks Steve is creepy. I want to go to the pub.</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em><strong>James:</strong></em><em> What&#8217;s creepy about my friends? Suppose she thinks I&#8217;m creepy too. You should ditch her.</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em><strong>Tina:</strong></em><em> Grrr!</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em><strong>James:</strong></em><em> Grrr!</em></p>
<p>Learning NLP is like playing tennis for the first time. You&#8217;re going to miss a lot of balls before you develop a steady rhythm. The NLP version of the conversation might go something like:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em><strong>NLP Tina:</strong></em><em> Darling, I&#8217;m going to nip over to the pub tonight with my friend Jenny.</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em><strong>James: </strong></em><em>That&#8217;s a bit short notice Sweetheart. You&#8217;re the one who says we don&#8217;t spend enough time together.</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em><strong>NLP Tina:</strong></em><em> I know&#8230; But you&#8217;ll be watching football with Dave and Steve so I thought I&#8217;d give you space to do whatever you guys do during a luuurvely game of footie&#8230; (fake exaggerated yawn, smile and a squeeze)&#8230; Do you have everything you&#8217;ll need?</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em><strong>James:</strong></em><em> Errr&#8230; Yes&#8230; Can&#8217;t you tell Jenny to come round instead. Steve fancies her and it&#8217;ll make his night.</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em><strong>NLP Tina:</strong></em><em> I&#8217;m not sure Jenny returns those feelings but I&#8217;ll ask her if she fancies coming over afterwards. We could pick up a DVD on the way home. Tell you what, I&#8217;ll text you if she says yes.</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em><strong>James:</strong></em><em> Sounds good.</em></p>
<p>Reading this, some people would think it&#8217;s good communication. Others would call it manipulation. What do you think &#8211; and why?</p>
<h1>Exposure to NLP</h1>
<p><strong>On a Course &#8211; </strong>A course transfers skills and knowledge to you for you to practice and apply later. When wounds are opened during the course and left unresolved, it becomes easy to develop a sensitivity to how others are treating you and strike out without thinking.</p>
<p><strong>With personal coaching/therapy</strong> &#8211; Individual sessions provide the time and focus you need in order to heal the wound, but even this is not without its own pitfalls. Attending sessions regularly and doing the work inbetween is time consuming and the costs can add up &#8211; so you only cover &#8220;the important things&#8221;. Personal sessions are also emotionally demanding and relationship niggles can become magnified.</p>
<p>Whether your experience of NLP and other personal development skills is through a course or individual sessions, here are a few things to keep in mind when your sweetheart isn&#8217;t looking so sweet.</p>
<h2 style="font-size: 1.5em;"><strong>&#8220;It&#8217;s My Life&#8221;</strong></h2>
<p>NLP for Personal Development teaches us that it&#8217;s okay to consider our own needs. It&#8217;s quite a nice lesson to learn in a world where we are encouraged to be all things to everyone else.</p>
<p>But in the heady delight of &#8220;being honest&#8221;, &#8220;envisioning our future&#8221; and &#8220;strategising our dreams&#8221;, we can become so orientated towards the new, that we overlook the gems in what we already have. Other things, perhaps even other people, start looking more attractive.</p>
<p>The other side of the coin is that we are considerably shaken by what we have discovered about ourselves and our opportunities. We become emotionally unable to provide reassurance or maintain any semblence of a relationship while we are busy trying to make sense of this new way of thinking.</p>
<p>In both situations, the temptation to put the relationship aside while we focus on ourselves is hard to resist and for some people, it&#8217;s the only option they feel they have.</p>
<p>Personally, I&#8217;d resist making any big decisions during this time but your partner does need to know what you are going through. If you only ever seek relationship help once in your life, this would be the time to do it. Preferably both of you &#8211; together as well as individually.</p>
<h2><strong>It&#8217;s your Personal Development, not theirs</strong></h2>
<p>If you spend time in a remote or deprived part of the world, you&#8217;ll return home being able to have a good bath using just one jug of water. Just because you can do this, don&#8217;t expect your loved one can suddenly do it too &#8211; or that she even wants to.</p>
<p>Personal Development programmes, including NLP and EFT amongst others, will open up new ways of thinking and behaving and you&#8217;ll be so tempted to &#8220;improve&#8221; your partner too. Don&#8217;t do it! Your course/session has been paced to bring you to where you are now. Your partner hasn&#8217;t had that experience and besides, she might be ultra-sensitive to what your change means for her. Top bug-bears for non-NLP people are:</p>
<ul>
<li><strong><em>&#8220;Techniquing&#8221; your partner</em></strong> &#8211; If she&#8217;s upset, don&#8217;t immediately SWISH her or ask her to &#8220;Tap and accept herself&#8221;.  Listen to her and appreciate the opportunity to practice the new listening, pacing and reframing skills you have learnt.</li>
<li><strong><em>Evangelising about how great NLP is</em></strong> &#8211; She really doesn&#8217;t care. Talk normally about it with a similar level of enthusiasm as you would for any other obsession&#8230; err.. I mean interest&#8230;  and she may want to know more.</li>
</ul>
<h2><strong>Pressing Buttons</strong></h2>
<p>NLP makes you aware of your own buttons, good and bad. You won&#8217;t have time on a course to address them properly and even with one-to-one coaching, you&#8217;ll only address the ones that reveal themselves in the context of your issue.</p>
<p>Back in the real world, you&#8217;ll be tuned into yourself to a higher degree than you were before. When things niggle you, perhaps you&#8217;ll interpret them as a sign that the relationship is wrong. But the chances are that a button has been pushed. Personal Development is not limited to training courses or coaching sessions, it goes on every single day and identifying what you have just reacted to is all part of the process.</p>
<ul>
<li><strong><em>&#8220;If I go out, he&#8217;ll sulk for days&#8221;</em></strong> &#8211; You&#8217;ve both had buttons pushed. As an NLPer you can easily probe your deeper mind to find the root of your button. But he can&#8217;t because he hates &#8220;navel-gazing&#8221;. Plus it&#8217;s emotionally and mentally draining. Communication is the bedrock of any relationship and once you&#8217;ve taken the emotional charge out of your own &#8220;<em>It&#8217;s not fair that I can&#8217;t go out</em>&#8221; emotions, you&#8217;re better placed to talk to him. Avoiding obvious NLP terminology (it&#8217;s grating to hear it), think about what have you learnt through your course or individual coaching sessions that you could apply to have him understand and accept your right to go out.</li>
</ul>
<h2>NLP is cold and emotionless</h2>
<p>People commonly complain that NLP is cold and emotionless because it puts a structure to something as random and ethereal as emotions. The structure provides footholds during personal coaching and self-analysis. However, using clinical words and phrases to non-NLP friends and family is just asking for trouble. Friends and family want to talk about their issues &#8211; not have someone whip out a pencil and jot down their submodalities etc.</p>
<p>This is frustrating for an NLPer who knows that the &#8220;problem&#8221; could be over quickly if the person would just listen to this NLP pearl of wisdom. But they get &#8220;Are you NLPing me?&#8221;, &#8220;Stop NLPing me&#8221;, &#8220;I&#8217;m not doing a technique, it&#8217;s artificial. Our relationship should be natural, warts and all.&#8221;</p>
<p>People want to be understood. People like others taking an interest in them. If you can be genuine about this, then the NLP principles &#8220;<span style="color: #ff0000;">Every behaviour has a positive intention</span>&#8221; and &#8220;<span style="color: #ff0000;">People respond to their experience, not reality itself</span>&#8221; take precedence naturally &#8211; giving rise to a rapport, pacing and leading that mitigates against any coldness.</p>
<h2>Separation</h2>
<p>Sometimes it is time for people to go their separate ways. Divorce and separation are amongst the most damaging and stressful experiences we can have. NLP can certainly play its part in managing the stress during the various stages of grief.</p>
<p>In a separation, one person often &#8220;wants&#8221; it more than the other. When you&#8217;re the NLPer initiating a break-up, you are aware of the resources within you that will allow you to do it with integrity and respect. While your partner may not ever approve of or agree with the decision (and it&#8217;s not your job to babysit her through it), be respectful, take ownership of your decision and accept responsibility for the questions you may be asked to answer. After all, this person played an important part in your life, and to some degree influences the person you are today.</p>
<p>And of course, bear in mind that if there are children involved, your partner will forever be a part of your life and a part of the life of your next partner. A bitter separation will to some degree impact the quality of your next relationship.</p>
<p>It could also impact your children&#8217;s identity, possibly reaching far into the future. When I was at school, a friend in my class was used as a tool in a manipulative battle between her divorced parents. She went from being &#8220;normal&#8221; to a snappy, snarling bully within the space of the 6 week summer holiday.</p>
<p><strong>Has NLP affected your relationships &#8211; positively or negatively? Did you go through a transition period and what tips would you share with others?</strong></p>
<p>Photo credit: <a title="http://www.stockxpert.com/browse_image/profile/BillyRuth3/" href="http://www.stockxpert.com/browse_image/profile/BillyRuth3/" target="_blank">BillyRuth3</a></p>
<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/08/26/can-nlp-hurt-your-relationships/">Can NLP Hurt Your Relationships?</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
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<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2008/09/12/illusions-delusions-and-hope/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Illusions, Delusions and Hope'>Illusions, Delusions and Hope</a> <small> I just found Morrissey on twitter&#8230; a quick click and...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/06/29/the-double-edged-sword-of-help/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: The Double Edged Sword of Help'>The Double Edged Sword of Help</a> <small> Two questions: 1) When does helping someone become self-serving...</small></li>
</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>The Tapping Insiders Club</title>
		<link>http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/08/13/the-tapping-insiders-club/</link>
		<comments>http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/08/13/the-tapping-insiders-club/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 13 Aug 2009 00:20:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Reeta Luthra</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[X-pired]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[counselling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[EFT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[eft resource]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[EFT World Summit]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional well-being]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[life coaching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nick ortner]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[peak performance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[personal goals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[personal responsibility]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tapping]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tapping insiders club]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tapping resource]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Thoughts Create Reality]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://paradoxofreality.com/blog/?p=679</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
You may remember Nick Ortner &#8211; the man behind the popular “Try it on Everything” EFT DVD. He was also behind the recent hugely successful EFT Summit (aka Tapping Summit) which was the largest internet event in its field.
Nick Ortner has now launched The Tapping Insiders club. This is a brand new resource designed to [...]<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/08/13/the-tapping-insiders-club/">The Tapping Insiders Club</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
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Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2010/02/01/tapping-world-summit-2010/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Tapping World Summit 2010'>Tapping World Summit 2010</a> <small> Following the enormous success of last year&#8217;s first ever...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/08/31/the-tapping-insiders-club-last-call-for-chartered-membership/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: The Tapping Insiders Club &#8211; Last Call for Chartered Membership'>The Tapping Insiders Club &#8211; Last Call for Chartered Membership</a> <small> If you are thinking of joining the Tapping Insiders...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/04/03/eft-world-summit-april-2009/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: EFT World Summit April 2009'>EFT World Summit April 2009</a> <small> Update: 1st Feb 2010: The 2009 EFT Tapping World...</small></li>
</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p>You may remember Nick Ortner &#8211; the man behind the popular “<a title="Try it on Everything - EFT Tapping DVD" href="http://www.tryitoneverything.com/cmd.php?af=963451" target="_blank">Try it on Everything</a>” EFT DVD. He was also behind the recent hugely successful EFT Summit (aka Tapping Summit) which was the largest internet event in its field.</p>
<p>Nick Ortner has now launched The Tapping Insiders club. This is a brand new resource designed to bring you information on a huge variety of topics regarding tapping.  More importantly, it’s designed to get you results in your life.</p>
<p>As an EFT advocate (I&#8217;ve seen the results first-hand both on myself and my clients), I&#8217;m pleased to be introducing it here because it seems like a perfect resource for people who are committed to helping themselves get the best out of their lives.</p>
<p>The vast amount of content is in both video and audio format and ranges from in-depth hour long interviews, to shorter 20-30 minute interviews and 5-7 minute tap along videos. Contributions come from some of the World&#8217;s leading tapping experts &#8211; both EFT and other meridian techniques such as TFT.</p>
<p><strong>Check it out here now:</strong> <strong>http://www.tryitoneverything.com/cmd.php?Clk=3197209</strong></p>
<p>Whatever challenges or obstacles you’re facing, if you can’t find the answer in one of the resources, you can have your questions answered in the “Ask the Experts” section or you can request an interview topic or video tap along topic.</p>
<p>They have three subscription options (one month, 6 month and annual) which are currently being offered at hugely discounted prices to celebrate the launch.</p>
<p>Personal one-to-one coaching can be expensive so this club sounds like a good option if you want to work on your challenges yourself at your own pace and at a fraction of the price of personal sessions. As always, be careful &amp; prudent when working on your own as some of the more complicated issues do need someone to guide you through.</p>
<p><strong>The list of topics currently available is huge – Here is a condensed version – the complete list is at </strong><strong>http://www.tryitoneverything.com/cmd.php?Clk=3197209</strong></p>
<ul>
<li>The Most Effective Strategies for Weight Loss and Tapping</li>
<li>OCD symptoms and Tapping</li>
<li>Tapping for Parents with children with ADD/ADHD</li>
<li>Healing Mother Issues with Tapping – An Emotional Journey Of Healing</li>
<li>Using Tapping With Children</li>
<li>The Importance of Clearing Previous Birth Traumas</li>
<li>The Power of Using Tapping To End Procrastination</li>
<li>Raise your Self-Esteem with EFT</li>
<li>How Your Identity Impacts Your Life</li>
<li>Tapping to Find Peace While Changing Jobs</li>
<li>Understanding the Money Blocks Holding You Back</li>
</ul>
<p>As you can see, there is a lot of useful information there. Take a look at the site to see if you want to give it a try. http://www.tryitoneverything.com/cmd.php?Clk=3197209</p>
<p>(PS: In the interest of full disclosure, I want to say that the links in this message are affiliate links. I greatly admire the work of Nick Ortner and his partners and would recommend them even if they hadn’t provided the affiliation. I rarely add referrals to my pages so when I do, please be assured that they are to people and products that I trust)</p>
<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/08/13/the-tapping-insiders-club/">The Tapping Insiders Club</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
<i>If you have found this article useful, please share it with anyone you think might find it interesting.</i> </p></p>



<p>Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2010/02/01/tapping-world-summit-2010/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Tapping World Summit 2010'>Tapping World Summit 2010</a> <small> Following the enormous success of last year&#8217;s first ever...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/08/31/the-tapping-insiders-club-last-call-for-chartered-membership/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: The Tapping Insiders Club &#8211; Last Call for Chartered Membership'>The Tapping Insiders Club &#8211; Last Call for Chartered Membership</a> <small> If you are thinking of joining the Tapping Insiders...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/04/03/eft-world-summit-april-2009/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: EFT World Summit April 2009'>EFT World Summit April 2009</a> <small> Update: 1st Feb 2010: The 2009 EFT Tapping World...</small></li>
</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>What Happened to the New Year?</title>
		<link>http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/07/20/what-happened-to-the-new-year/</link>
		<comments>http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/07/20/what-happened-to-the-new-year/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 Jul 2009 15:50:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Reeta Luthra</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[coaching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[goals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[New Year Resolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[personal goals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[personal responsibility]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[setting goals]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://paradoxofreality.com/blog/?p=669</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Or to be more precise &#8211; what happened to those New Year Resolutions?
New Year Resolutions are made on New Year because it&#8217;s a magical, sparkly time that&#8217;s ever so convenient to allow ourselves to think about what we want.
But you already know that resolutions can be made at any time of the year. They are [...]<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/07/20/what-happened-to-the-new-year/">What Happened to the New Year?</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
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Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2008/10/06/are-you-mistaking-baggage-for-precious-cargo/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Are You Mistaking Baggage for Precious Cargo?'>Are You Mistaking Baggage for Precious Cargo?</a> <small> Through accident or some strange quirk of fate, I&#8217;ve...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2008/10/21/escape-the-new-year-resolution-trap-think-early-think-smart/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Escape the New Year Resolution Trap: Think Early. Think Smart.'>Escape the New Year Resolution Trap: Think Early. Think Smart.</a> <small> My friend Teresa (not her real name) has been...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/11/18/reetaluthra-com-is-live/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: ReetaLuthra.com is Live!'>ReetaLuthra.com is Live!</a> <small> Paradox of Reality has changed! As you may already...</small></li>
</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p><strong><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-672" style="margin: 10px;" title="what-happened-to-the-new-year1" src="http://paradoxofreality.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/what-happened-to-the-new-year1.jpg" alt="what-happened-to-the-new-year1" width="200" height="200" />Or to be more precise &#8211; what happened to those New Year Resolutions?</strong></p>
<p>New Year Resolutions are made on New Year because it&#8217;s a magical, sparkly time that&#8217;s ever so convenient to allow ourselves to think about what we want.</p>
<p>But you already know that resolutions can be made at any time of the year. They are a statement of intention; goals. A bit of action behind the intention gets you on your way. A wise soul once said that spending 5 minutes every single day towards your goal helps you stay focused and little by little, you get there.</p>
<p>I don&#8217;t usually make any New Year Resolutions but this year I thought it would be nice to learn how to make a website in Joomla &#8211; I confess, I only started last month but since I started, I&#8217;ve been spending some time on it every day and am no longer a newbie! I may even have the new site up this side of Christmas.</p>
<p>How are you getting on with your resolutions? Leave a comment below and help encourage those who haven&#8217;t started theirs yet! <img src='http://paradoxofreality.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':-)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
<p>In the meantime, here are a couple of interesting sites to browse.</p>
<p><a title="The Art of Nonconformity" href="http://chrisguillebeau.com" target="_blank">The Art of Nonconformity</a> &#8211; A home for remarkable people doing remarkable things. Chris Guillebeau chronicles his battles against conventional beliefs. He is currently on a quest to travel to every country in the world</p>
<p><a title="TED" href="http://www.ted.com/pages/view/id/5" target="_blank">TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design)</a> &#8211; Devoted to Ideas Worth Spreading, TED contains an ever-growing collection of videos from speakers around the world. They award an annual prize to three people with a vision to transform the world</p>
<p>&#8211;</p>
<p>image: <a title="http://www.sxc.hu/profile/ba1969" href="http://www.sxc.hu/profile/ba1969" target="_blank">http://www.sxc.hu/profile/ba1969</a></p>
<p>&#8211;</p>
<p><br/><strong>Comment on this post at: <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/07/20/what-happened-to-the-new-year/">What Happened to the New Year?</a></strong><br/><p>If you enjoyed this post, you may like to subscribe to the newsletter for information not published on this blog <a href="http://paradoxofreality.com/newsletter/">Subscribe to the newsletter</a><br/>
<i>If you have found this article useful, please share it with anyone you think might find it interesting.</i> </p></p>



<p>Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2008/10/06/are-you-mistaking-baggage-for-precious-cargo/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Are You Mistaking Baggage for Precious Cargo?'>Are You Mistaking Baggage for Precious Cargo?</a> <small> Through accident or some strange quirk of fate, I&#8217;ve...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2008/10/21/escape-the-new-year-resolution-trap-think-early-think-smart/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Escape the New Year Resolution Trap: Think Early. Think Smart.'>Escape the New Year Resolution Trap: Think Early. Think Smart.</a> <small> My friend Teresa (not her real name) has been...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://paradoxofreality.com/2009/11/18/reetaluthra-com-is-live/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: ReetaLuthra.com is Live!'>ReetaLuthra.com is Live!</a> <small> Paradox of Reality has changed! As you may already...</small></li>
</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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