Anger can serve a purpose when it motivates you to find a solution to solve a problem. 

But people often feel that they have no control over their anger and that it is just a part of their personality.

Anger is an expression of inner conflict and when someone becomes used to allowing this conflict to be expressed in a certain way, this is what gives the illusion of anger being an intrinsic part of personal identity. Allowing anger to bubble and fester limits your options.   

1)  The Barker
He’s known for barking orders at subordinates, waiters and shop assistants. For added power, he may use public sarcasm to humiliate. Fear of losing their job makes his unfortunate targets putty in his hands. 

The Limitation: Short-term service but long-term disloyalty and behind the scenes ridicule.

2)  The Blamer
He points a finger at everyone else for everything wrong in his life. A pro at playing the victim and waiting for others to come crawling for forgiveness. Judge, Jury & Executioner, he plays on the inherent desire of people to do right by others. 

The Limitation: Continually waiting for others to provide the solution fuels the belief that life is hard and everyone is a fool. It causes a blindness to recognise help and an inability to assume any personal responsibility.

3)  The Slow Burn
He has submitted to his fate. The level of his anger is so intense that it has all but destroyed his ability to feel it. He doesn’t have an opinion or preference and goes along with what everyone else suggests.  It puts him in the background where he doesn’t have to share too much of himself and can be left to his own devices. 

The Limitation: This anger explodes with absolutely no warning. The explosion can be felt for miles.

4)  The Forest Fire
Generally sociable and engaging, he shields himself from everyday stress, perhaps by using food, alcohol or drugs to provide a distance. Without this coping mechanism, he flares up in short but powerful bursts of disproportionate rage. 

The Limitation: Feelings of helplessness over the future create internal panic. Unable to manage stress, there may be a problem in maintaining lasting relationships.

5)  The Force
He knows exactly what he wants and will do what he can to get it. Sometimes there is actual or implied violence in his methods. He exudes authority and power and uses fear and force to manipulate and control others. 

The Limitation: Complete self-absorption results in an inability to accept the validity of others and the fluid nature of reality.

Can you think of other ways anger shows itself? Add them below.

For help with stress and anger management, please contact Reeta Luthra: http://www.paradoxofreality.com

On airlines, in their safety demos, they tell you that in an emergency, your priority is to make sure that your own safety equipment is working properly. This is great advice for your daily life too – It’s practical and effective because when you are in good shape internally, you become more in control externally.

The recent spate of shocks in the banking sector came only a week or two after the Chancellor of the Exchequer indicated he expects the recession to hit harder than expected. The effects of the credit crunch, housing market, oil, petrol and food prices become more tangible and the Office for National Statistics reports a downturn in retail sales volumes.

There seems to be a lot to worry about and I have begun to see the effect of these worries in my clients.

Financial worries have an insidious reach that extends into anger, shame, blame and fear. This can lead to breakdowns in communication. Communication issues cause havoc in relationships and this generates more stress. It becomes a relentless cycle of demands and stress.

It becomes useful to remember that message about your priority from the airlines. In everyday life, your safety equipment includes your mind, your energy and a focused clarity on your goal.

When you have these strong and in place, you can turn worries to your advantage by allowing them to get you thinking about different ways of doing things.

Stress is your body’s way of communicating with you and by taking the time to listen and address your worries one by one, you can gain new perspectives. The current economic climate is one where a new perspective will help in a big way.

Financial worries tend to be flavoured with a sense of helplessness and doom around the consequences of potential loss. We feel isolated and burdened and obligations lie heavy.

No matter how severe these worries are, they exist for one reason only – and that is to tell you that something needs to change. What exactly needs to change depends on your individual situation and could range from a physical activity such as getting a new job to a more emotionally orientated change that allows you approach situations with calmness and confidence.

However, change involves action. And change during a stressful crisis is most effective when it is accompanied by creative thinking that spurs favourable action.

One of my favourite jokes puts another angle on it.

John O’Shea, a devoutly religious man, was worried about how to provide for his family who he loved intensely. He asked God to provide him with enough money to see them through the hard times. “If only I could win the lottery this week, I would be so happy and could give my family all they wanted.”

The weeks went by and each week there was no lottery win for him. Each week, his pleas to God became more fervent and each week God listened to him.

One day, John was walking to work and began his usual daily heart-wrenching pleas to God to give him a lottery win.

Suddenly the skies grew dark, the clouds hung low and a booming voice came down from the heavens.

“John,” God said. “I have heard your pleas and I want to help you. But please John, help me out and actually buy a lottery ticket will you.”

It’s not enough to just sit and think about what is worrying you – you need to follow it with focused action.

One way to start addressing financial difficulties is to lay proper foundations and get a complete picture of how things stand. If you haven’t already, start by doing your accounts. A simple account of your income/expenditure will give you a clear black and white picture of how you stand.

You can then analyse your expenditure and recession-proof yourself as much as possible. In his blog, Nadeen Azam offers a list of ways to help you. http://www.froggybank.co.uk/news/101-tips-to-survive-the-credit-crunch/

For help with your credit crunch worries and safety equipment (mind, energy and focus), please contact me. Or post your tips and suggestions below.