Reeta Luthra (Paradox of Reality) » Strategies

5 Ways To Strengthen Your Job Application

Reeta Luthra — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 00:20:26 +0000

Your CV (aka resume) is ready and you’re about to send it out to recruitment agencies and potential employers.

Whether it’s your first job or a strategic career move, there are some things you need to do before you send off that CV.

1) Is Your Email Address Helping or Hindering?

First impressions count. So make sure your email address does not present a distorted image of you.

Your fun email address such as “hotlover4u@…” may not strike an interviewers funny bone.
Shared email addresses such as “tomandlinda@…” create uncertainty as to who will be reading or replying to an email. If you share your email address with your family or partner, consider setting up your own address to avoid accidental deletion of an interview confirmation and to give yourself some privacy.
Take care over hyphens in your email. It is easy for someone in a rush to confuse a hyphen with an underscore.
Although it’s not your fault, people can also read .com instead of .co.uk. Grab both versions of an email address if you can or choose the more easily remembered .com even that means registering your own domain.

It is worth the time to take the time to set up an email address that you can use for job applications and other activities where you want to present a good image. Choose an email address that contains your name or an abbreviation of your name. Set your email up so that your full name appears in the “From” field.

2) Future-Proof your Contact Details

Once your CV is out there, it can remain accessible to others for quite a while. An agency may want to head-hunt you in a year or so. Or an interviewer who rejected you may remember you as the perfect candidate for a position that suddenly opens up.

Therefore, your CV should list your personal email address and a personal mobile number as the primary ways to contact you. If you need to apply with your current work email address or work telephone, list these separately.

3) Check Your Online Footprint

In the current wave of social networking, it’s quite possible that there may be things about you online that you would rather prospective employers did not see. Search for your name online and see what can be found about you. The internet gives everybody the opportunity to play papparazzi so be inventive, become your own stalker and search for your email address and anything else that an agency or potential employer might try.

If you find something that needs changing, then change it. Remember that search engines can take around a month to reflect changes so do this in good time. If you do not have the rights to change it (a comment on a blog or a news article perhaps), then plan how you will respond if the subject is mentioned.

Check your profile on facebook, MySpace and any other social networking site you visit. Even if you have nothing to hide, set secure privacy options. At this early stage of your job search, you want to minimise the risk that a prospective employer may take offence at something trivial on your personal profile. Hide your friends list from casual observers and remove your tags from photos that your friends may have posted. You can always set them up again once you have secured your job.

If you have a profile on LinkedIn, ask current colleagues to write recommendations. Give people something positive to find.

4) Set a Correct Target

Your CV should be tailored to the position you are applying for. It is common and quite normal to have several versions of a CV that place emphasis on different areas. A good recruitment agent will work with you to suggest ways to customise your CV for a specific role. You will have to do the work yourself, but do ask them for help and suggestions.

Some of the less ethical recruitment agencies will not be as helpful, especially if you are applying for your first job or for a role that pays them low commission. Don’t let this put you off and don’t become agitated or rude. You need them to put your CV forward so present the best side of yourself in all your communications with them.

Recent surveys suggest that up to 73% of employers reject CV’s that do not list work related achievements. Maximise your application by making sure that your achievements are relevant to the position you are applying for.

5) Check Your Holidays!

Some people apply for jobs or submit their CV’s to online job-boards just before they leave to go on holiday. Sometimes it’s a calculated risk where the assumption is that you will be back before anybody responds to your application. However, the other side is that you are not contactable and if anyone does try to contact you, they will doubt that you are serious about your job search and they may not try to get in touch again.

If you do need to submit an application just before a holiday, then mention this in your cover letter as a courtesy – but remember that they are a stranger so do not suggest that the house will be empty for two weeks.

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3 Powerful Ways to Reduce Anger & Cultivate Forgiveness

Reeta Luthra — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 18:14:51 +0000

A client described a sore spot in her soul; the result of the way someone treated her. She’s found that anger makes the pain easier to bear – although she admits that this is probably not the best strategy in the world!

Sore spots worry me – I worry that sore spots in our soul create trouble further on down the line with regards to our health and well-being.

Last week, my Dad observed that our natural state is Peace. He says the evidence for this lies between the moment after we first wake up and the moment before our thoughts start reminding us of disturbances from the people and events around us.

These disturbances affect our state of mind and distort our ability to prevent them from morphing into “sore spots in the soul”. One way to develop a stronger resistance to disurbance is through cultivating an attitude of forgiveness.

Now in case you’re about to run a mile, I’m not suggesting that you throw away your worldly goods and go around blessing your enemies (although can you imagine their reaction if you did!).

I’m defining forgiveness as the ability to stop disturbance finding a home in your soul.

Developing the following habits helps cultivate this ability:

Reconcile Your Mind Chatter (”Noise”)

Forgiveness lives in your body under all the “noise”. You get to it through a psychological process of self-reconciliation.

Although forgiveness is divine, there’s not much divinity going on inside us when we are hurting. We can’t pretend we don’t mind when actually we do mind deeply. We weren’t the ones that asked for such betrayal or behaved so insensitively, so why in the world should it be up to us to undo the damage that was caused? Don’t our feelings count? Where’s the justice?

The Process of forgiveness (it is a process, not simply a single thought or act) needs us to see what is hurting inside us. Perhaps re-evaluate our values. It asks us to re-examine our priorities – but in this there is a danger that our views might change. That we’ll be letting the other person “win”. And they don’t deserve to win because they wronged us! There is a danger that we might actually feel forgiveness, and if that happens, how can we have what we really want – proof that we matter?

These conflicts can be brutal and the “noise” gives the illusion they are unchangeable. Perhaps this is why some people hold on to anger, turning a normal short-term reaction into something long-term and insidious.

Being open to questioning your own attitudes, thoughts and reactions helps create a mindset that grows to challenge this internal conflict.

Refuse to Blame

Nurturing anger and blame is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

Anger and blame keeps us reliving the experience so we stay attached to pain and the hurt. It clouds our vision and perpetually reminds us that we have reason to be this unhappy. We get used to being in emotional pain. It turns us into martyrs.

When you find yourself blaming someone else, try consciously refusing to finish that sentence or thought. Let it remain unformed and with practice, your mind will move onto other things. It’s not about denial. It’s about not torturing yourself.

Remember that refusing to blame is not the same as accepting what happened. When you refuse to blame, you give your own wisdom a chance to help you.

It’s only when we stop filling our mind with blame and accusations that we can make space for new thoughts to enter. Forgiveness and self-reconciliation need this space in your head to flourish.

Ask Yourself: Who will you be afterwards?

Forgiving someone changes the way you see them. It also changes you.

Fear of the “consequences” of forgiveness can make us hesitant to forgive.

“People will disapprove”
“I’ll lose face by taking the first step”
“It’ll be like how it was before”

The fears provide an opportunity to examine your reaction. For example, if you think you’ll lose face, is there a history of let-downs with this person? Is there actually a different event that you need to forgive before you can forgive them for this one?

The process you go through in order to reconcile the fears changes your self perception. A part of you strengthens. Some things no longer matter while others become more important. You change in the perception of others. One person thinks your decision to forgive is crazy while someone else thinks you’re “well cool”. How much will you be influenced by (and directed by) other people in this matter? How comfortable are you in the role of someone who has forgiven?

Sometimes you can only forgive in private, silently and secretly because the other person is not a physical part of your life anymore. Nobody knows what pain you were in nor the relief you feel now. It’s a big transition – who are you now that you’re not feeling the pain?

Forgiveness is perceived as something you have to do for the other person. I think it’s something you do for yourself.

You know that you have forgiven when you feel the peace in your body, when your language does not contain blame and when you no longer bring up the incident in future arguments.

These are just three mindsets that help cultivate the ability to stop disturbance finding a home in your soul. Do you have any others? To put the question another way, what obstacles do you find standing in the way of forgiveness?

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My Language Challenge: Part 5 – Allowing the Brain to Read, Write and Speak

Reeta Luthra — Sat, 30 May 2009 22:18:28 +0000

This is part of a series covering my challenge of learning Arabic in 2 months. I’m using lots of Peak Performance techniques and sharing them along the way. The series is filed in the “Language Challenge” category.

The Holographic Mind

Scientists have shown that different parts of the brain are responsible for different activities. The frontal lobe is responsible for cognition, speech, problem solving and complex motor movements. The temporal lobe is responsible for visual and verbal memory, smell and hearing in different frequencies. And so on.

Subsequent neuro-scientific research into brain plasticity has found that despite this specialisation, there is a certain holographic quality to the brain, whereby if one area is damaged, it is possible to retrain the brain so that other parts of the brain take on that “job function”. (See references below for further reading).

So, what does this have to do with learning Arabic?

From a broad perspective, it shows that different activities, such as reading, writing and speaking, are processed in different ways and that if you’re not terribly good at something, it’s possible to call in help from other parts of your brain. I suppose in some ways, you could say that ability is a learned response.

There is a lot going on in the brain and most of the time, it happens without us even being aware of it. Your brain helps you raise your arm to put food into your mouth. It helps you to feel outrage when you see an injustice happening. At some point, you trained it to do these things, but you didn’t necessarily do it consciously. Somehow, the brain has enough ways to communicate with all parts of itself that it takes what it experiences in the world through all your senses, and translates it into what you *expect* it to translate it into.

Over-using the mind through habit and repetition

I don’t remember the actual process by which I learnt to read, write and speak my first language. What I do remember is that by the age of 5, I was speaking a mixture of Hindi, Punjabi, Swahili and English and at that age, I had no idea that these were four different languages. My little child brain had taken the information being fed to me from the world around me and translated it into what little child me *expected* it to translate into.

Now, “people” say that adult brains are not as receptive as child brains and that learning a new language is not easy, even impossible, for an adult.

And yes, as we get older, we do over-use parts of our brains to the point that they encroach on the “brain space” for other activities. For example, a postman who has been delivering letters for 40 years will be an excellent reader but he processes what he reads in a different way to a poet who is also an excellent reader and has been writing for 40 years. The postman reads the words “Beechwood Close” and in his minds eye sees a task, a map, a route and immediately starts planning how to incorporate it into his round. The poet reads the words “Beechwood Close” and it becomes a different sensory experience as he creates his own story and emotions around them.

There are no such stories and emotions for the postman and the poet has no map or task in his mind. The areas that their brain considers non-essential (because they are rarely used) have weakened in size.

Because of the holographic and plastic nature of the brain, both the poet and postman can extend their mental reach into the areas that they have “forgotten” about through lack of use. All they need is a will and a way.

Using what you already know to help make what you don’t know something that you do know

I have not studied a language since I was at school. So certain areas of my mind need re-activation.

As a child, I simply took what was in front of me and allowed it to “do it’s thing” in my head. Adults are full of assumptions and presuppositions that kind of limit what they allow themselves to discover. Adults sometimes forget that they have an advantage – they can use their life-experience to tap into past experiences and know-how to make re-activation nice and simple.

Over time we all develop preferred ways of processing information. Identifying these optimum ways of processing information will accelerate my learning because I can concentrate on what I know works. Unlike a child trying to process everything in range, I gain the luxury of strategy and focus.

As you read the rest of this article, remember that your optimum ways of processing information may well be different from mine. As I describe what I am doing, look into yourself to see how you can capitalise on what you already do in order to make a new skill easier to achieve.

Reading

Technically, reading involves recognising shapes and associating a meaning to them. I do not need to know which lobes of my brain are doing this. It would be useful however to know how I am attaching meaning to the shapes I see.

I think of the word “Cat” (in English). With the eyes of my mind, I see a furry, smiley black cat that belongs to a witch. The word “cat” is superimposed on this image and I can spell “cat” by looking at the letters.

I think of the word “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” and with the eyes of my mind, I see Mary Poppins dancing around and singing. The word is easy to spell because again, it’s superimposed on this image and I can “see” it.

Now, I think of a word I have trouble spelling. “Stationary”. Or is it “Stationery”?? Bleugh. With the eyes of my mind, I see myself doing a spelling test at a recruitment agency for a Summer job that I don’t want. I’m bored, unhappy and for some reason, my success hinges on this stupid word. And you guessed it, this word is not superimposed on this image. It’s there, but it’s broken up with bits of it all over the “screen” and it’s a struggle to make the pieces fit.

From this, I know that in order to attach a meaning to a (correctly spelt) word, my mind needs to attach it to a “happy” picture. Knowing this, I can now take all these new Arabic words and phrases I am learning and make a conscious effort to attach them to a “happy picture” as I learn them. If I do it the way my mind wants me to do it, there’s a good chance it’ll work beautifully.

So now I find that when I think of an English word e.g. “yoghurt”, my English mind sees a strawberry flavoured Ski yoghurt. My Arabic mind however sees a yoghurt pot on a shelf in Spinney’s, a supermarket in the Sahara Mall in Sharjah. And SUCCESS!, the word superimposed on this image is the Arabic word for yoghurt, written in arabic!! Now, my fluency isn’t all that great yet and I do have to concentrate to spell the word out in Arabic – but the key thing is that it’s there and I CAN see it, read it and spell it.

By the way, my Hindi mind sees my Mum’s home-made yoghurt in a pan in the fridge. Interesting how the same word is represented by different images in the mind depending on the language I’m thinking in.

Try this one for yourself – what happens in your mind when you think about a word to spell? Do you see it the way I do or is it different for you? It can take a few tries to get used to noticing something that usually happens automatically and unconsciously, but stick with it.

Writing

Writing is the process by which your thoughts are made readable. This is a completely different skill-set from Reading.

In order to write, my mind has to:

Create the thought
Find words to represent that thought
Identify the grammatical structure for the sentence
Identify the spelling for the word

My vocabulary in Arabic is not quite up to getting past step 2 yet and Arabic grammatical structure is completely different from English. So currently the best way to write is through copying sentences in my tutorial book. And this is fine because what I am getting through this is fluidity and familiarity. My letters are becoming neater (thanks to a tip from a friend who advised me to write the letters as small as possible). I am also thinking about the grammatical structure of what I am copying. The typos in the book don’t help but it makes me happy that I am able to spot them!

Speaking

Speaking is the vocal translation of your thoughts. The steps involved are similar to that in Writing with the practical difference that speaking is more forgiving than writing. I am not studying Arabic to exam standard so I can afford to enjoy the fact that body language can do some of my talking for me. I do need to watch this though in case it makes me lazy. Ensuring I work on my speaking skills every day will help me keep pace with my growing vocabulary.

Speaking in an authentic accent is important to me. Ordinarily, I have an even London accent – but when I am upset, excited or emotional, my Croydon roots show themselves as a distinct South London flavour modifies my voice. This indicates to me that initial exposure to the sound of a language will set the tone of how I speak.

Unfortunately, my tutorial CD’s are atrocious for accent. They are spoken in the stilted, exaggerated way that is common in language CD’s – I’m mimicking these awful accents very well and it’s doing nothing for my street cred. I am in urgent need for authentic youtubes or online radio etc where I can immerse my brain in the sound of the language. I’d be grateful for suggestions of suitable material online that I can listen to! Preferably the type of accent/style common in the UAE (Dubai).

My Routine – one month into the challenge

It’s now one month since I started my challenge. I know the entire alphabet and have basic vocabulary. I’ve been averaging about 4 hours study a week (plus review time). I’m satisfied with my progress so far but definitely need to step things up a notch now. My standard routine is:

Reviewing what I learn – flash cards with new words and phrases that I can test myself on throughout the day. I’m training my brain to remember and repetition is a great trainer. Also, I know from having modelled people with excellent memories, that they have a habit (i.e. automatic activity) of thinking about and reviewing what they have learnt or read.
Maintaining curiosity and interest – Reviewing my goals keeps me focused, especially on sunny days when it would be more fun to go for a bike ride.
Remembering what I learn – Again, from my modelling work on people with excellent memories for what they read, I know that a fact that is made memorable will become memorable. The people I modelled unconsciously and automatically treat the things they read as items of intense interest (even on subjects that they don’t care about!). Intense interest equals curiosity. Curiosity equals questions. Questions equal analysis of the subject and cross-linkages to existing information they already know. Cross linkages equals reinforcement of what is currently being learnt. Even with something as standalone as a new language, there are cross-linkages to be made that makes remembering that much easier.
Prioritising and giving myself room to grow – Some things come in time, Arabic grammar is one them. If a rule won’t go in quickly and easily, I don’t obsess about it. I know that continuing my study will bring me into contact with this rule again and again. The same way that constant exposure to a song has you knowing the lyrics without trying, I know that I will pick up whatever grammar rule is escaping me at this early stage.

Resources for further reading:

The Brain That Changes Itself, Norman Doidge - amazon.co.uk | amazon.com

The Holographic Universe, Michael Talbot - amazon.co.uk | amazon.com

The Britannica Guide to the Brain - amazon.co.uk | amazon.com

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My Language Challenge: Part 4 – The Influence of Thoughts on Learning

Reeta Luthra — Fri, 15 May 2009 15:56:27 +0000

This is part of a series covering my challenge of learning Arabic in 2 months. I’m using lots of Peak Performance techniques and sharing them along the way. The series is filed in the “Language Challenge” category.

What’s Eating You?

So far I have covered Peak Performance states, Goal Setting and the motivating importance of Curiosity. Now comes a peek into subconscious influences that direct our behaviour.

First a confession - As far as studying goes, I have been slacking off all week, fitting in a mini-break to Barcelona and catching up with friends. I may not have studied much Arabic but I have been paying attention to improving the way I process information for this task.

Reading, Writing and Speaking are separate brain functions but they are all open to being influenced by our thoughts. Our thoughts – and our beliefs about ourselves – shape our behaviour.

As we go through life, we subconsciously pick up lots of different ways of relating to ourselves, to others and even the things around us. This affects what we believe and how we approach things. It contributes to our uniqueness, making us feel our thoughts are a solid, fixed and intrinsic part of our personality. Which they’re not.

In this article, I hope to show that through understanding and addressing what lies behind our thoughts, we can change our thoughts and shape ourselves to how we deserve to be.

Identifying beliefs behind our actions

Our beliefs about our abilities come from associations we’ve made through experiences we have lived through – either directly or indirectly through others. Some beliefs help us while others don’t.

To achieve peak performance in any given area, it’s useful to ensure that we are working with beliefs that support our goals. To do this, we first have to identify the beliefs (good and bad) that are having impact on the goal. This is what mine look like:

Goal: Reading
I was reading at the age of 3. My favourite place was in front of a book and I enjoyed the entire experience – turning pages, the mystery within them, following words with my finger, total absorption in the pretty pictures making up my own stories to go with them. I felt a genuine thrill combined with safety when I was reading and I still feel it now. I believe reading is desirable because I associate it with something good.

Goal: Writing
At school age about 8 and wasn’t allowed to write in ink until I could write neatly in pencil. All my friends managed it but not me. In the end I asked the teacher if I could give her an ink test page to prove I could do it. She agreed, I passed and became the proud owner of a fountain pen. It’s a memory I did not even know I had until I started practising writing Arabic. I believe writing practice is a pain in the proverbial because I associate it with a teacher who kept saying “no”.

Goal: Speaking
Nothing jumps out at me for this goal. To me it feels like an activity much like going to buy a stamp for a letter – you do it when you need to, no fuss, no mess, just functional. I believe speaking is ordinary and everyday to the point where I have nothing else to say on the subject.

Goal: Remembering
I’m going to throw in memory too because I’m discovering associations with it relating to exams and the sheer impossibility of remembering useless dates and facts. I believe I can’t remember facts because I associate it with fear of failing an exam.

If you try identifying your own beliefs, you may find that you come up with several associations or that your beliefs are caught in some kind of a loop. Take it gently if that happens – take a break and look at the resources mentioned below to help yourself or find someone who can talk it through with you.

The impact of associations

As I go about learning to read, write and speak Arabic, these beliefs are affecting my behaviour. I am automatically giving priority to the reading aspects, feeling nervous and “on my best behaviour” about writing and not paying any attention to speaking – after all, I don’t actually need to speak it right now. I am also nervous about being able to remember what I learn. It feels as if I should only study concepts and outlines because I will forget the details anyway.

My associations and beliefs around:

Reading… will help me so no need to worry about that.
Writing… have a motivating quality to them so will help me by making me work harder.
Speaking… will hinder me because I don’t view speaking as important. This means I won’t practice the words and won’t develop a good rhythm or accent. This will hurt my goal.
Remembering… could lead to procrastination or even giving up. Because I’m strongly attached to the feeling of being unable to remember, there may well be self-hypnotic undermining of my own efforts to remember. This will hurt my goal.

Understanding the influence of my beliefs to this level of detail helps me to recognise the ways that some of my thoughts have the potential to hurt my goal.

Breaking unhelpful associations

To be at peak performance, I need to change the way I think about speaking and remembering. I can do this with logic or I can use a combination of NLP and EFT techniques. It doesn’t matter how I do it so long as I end up being able to see things in a different way.

The actual techniques I used need a detailed write-up and because I won’t be able to do them justice in this one article, I am planning a series of step-by-step tutorials on the subject of breaking unhelpful associations.

**** Subscribe to this blog by RSS or email to stay informed of when the free tutorial becomes available. ****

In the meantime, if you want to get a start and read around the subject yourself, I recommend the following resources:

The NLP Workbook – I recommend this book to my clients as it’s suitable for beginners to NLP and also detailed enough to be valuable to practitioners too. The workbook format is practical and encourages you to put NLP into action yourself.

Try it on Everything – EFT DVD and companion book set.

Introduction to EFT Manual by Gary Craig, the founder of EFT.

Thoughts Support Success!

So, having broken the associations, I now find my thoughts are stronger and more supportive of my goals:

Speaking seems more accessible and more vital in my goal of learning a language. I feel differently about it and practicing it every day actually feels more desirable… and attainable.
Memory has placed itself in context. Exam pressure is no longer the first thing I think about. I’m more attuned to my successes and am remembering very clearly all the times I easily learnt things. Coincidentally (or not), I am noticing that in all these times I was highly motivated, interested and curious. Remember from previous parts of this series that intense focus and curiosity provide the ideal conditions for information to be stored in long-term memory.

When your thoughts are on your side, you’re automatically more attuned to following through because you’re not sabotaging yourself.

Next time I will be talking about the mental patterns of Reading, Writing and Speaking. If you enjoyed this article, please feel free to subscribe by RSS or email to receive updates.

Language Challenge Part 5 – Allowing the Brain to Read, Write and Speak

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My Language Challenge: Part 2 – Setting and Planning Goals the NLP Way

Reeta Luthra — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 13:27:30 +0000

This is part of a series covering my challenge of learning Arabic in 2 months. I’m using lots of Peak Performance techniques and sharing them along the way. The series is filed in the “Language Challenge” category.

Setting Goals

“When you know what you want, and want it bad enough, you will find a way to get it.” – Jim Rohn

Previously, I mentioned I had some issues with time. My time analysis study has now shown me that I do have enough hours in the day. This has alleviated my concerns and I have comfortably and easily improved my time management. Mostly this is through getting rid of doorways to distraction (eg checking email) and timetabling non-essential but enjoyable activities like web-traffic analysis etc.

The PECSAW model in NLP is a set of guidelines that help design goals that are “do-able”.

I’ve only provided short example answers in this PECSAW outline below. If you do this for one of your own goals, make yours rich and full of information. The more detailed you are, the more your mind finds a way to make it happen.

P = Positive : i.e. What is my goal exactly? State this in a positive way i.e. “I want a new job” not “I don’t want to work here”

In two months time, I want to be able to read and write Modern Standard Arabic (MSA) to an introductory level and also to be able to hold a basic level of conversation through being able to adapt MSA to a more conversational dialect (Gulf focused). I want to have memorised the alphabet and have knowledge of scripting, pronunciation, basic sentence structure, numbers, gender differences in language and basic conversation. I also want to improve my knowledge of Arabic culture and customs.

E = Evidence : i.e. How will I know that I have achieved my goal?

Successful completion of all the exercises in my tutorial books
Being able to read – with a dictionary if necessary – a children’s storybook in Arabic
Showing some of my writing to an Arabian friend to see if they can read it
Being able to converse to some degree in Arabic
Being able to read UAE road signs and number plates
Being able to follow Arabic you-tubes

C = Context : i.e. Where am I going to do this? When will I do this? Have I got the right influences?

For information to go into long-term memory, the learning stage has to be intensely focused with high levels of concentration. For most people, 20-45 minutes of focused study is about the right length before concentration starts to wane and the return on study time diminishes. A 10-15 minute break helps to get the concentration back.

This feature of the learning process actually fits very nicely into my schedule as I can easily manage two or three short concentrated bursts of study throughout the day. Practicing what I have learnt uses different brain “muscles” to learning and doesn’t require as intense concentration or short periods of study. But as I only have short periods of study, I will be practicing between client appointments, waiting for the kettle to boil, in the car etc. This kind of repetitive practice is important particularly in the period that immediately follows the learning because not only does it help wire it in, but it creates better recall too. You’re effectively showing your mind that the subject is important enough for you to think about constantly so you need quicker access to the information. An advantage to practicing throughout the day is that I will be maintaining constant exposure.

As well as the where and when, you need to plan for the people in your life who are going to be drip-feeding negativity into your efforts. There’s a difference between constructive criticism and habitual putter-downers. You can learn from the former but the latter sap your energy. What can you do to limit this type of influence?

S = Self-achievable : i.e. Can I do this by myself? Making the goal completely within your influence gives you a greater opportunity for achievement.

I can achieve my goal through learning from books and other self-study resources. I am willing to get a tutor if I think I’d like one and having done a quick search, there are a couple listed in my area.

If your goal isn’t completely within your influence, is there a way you can change it slightly so that when you think about, it seems more self-achievable? For example, if your goal is to “get a job interview”, you are relying on someone actually offering you an interview. If your goal is “make myself worthy of being interviewed”, does this seem a more self-achievable route to the same outcome? If not, then adapt the goal until it does become more self-achievable and has a good feel.

A = Advantages & Disadvantages : i.e. What’s great about achieving this goal and what negative aspects are there?

It’s a good idea to think of the disadvantages now so you can address or eliminate them. You might even find that there is a disadvantage strong enough to make you not want this goal right now.

The numerous advantages to achieving my goal include the mystery of a new, exotic language, being able to speak to UAE nationals in their own language (even if it’s at beginner level) and of course, the fact that the actual process of learning a new language increases the physical density of neurons in the brain. I do believe that learning new things is the mental equivalent of oxygen.

Disadvantages include having to spend time learning, the expense of tuition resources, the effort of finding online video resources. Also, the “double learning” regarding the MSA and conversational versions of the language. However, none of these disadvantages are significant enough to cause any level of doubt or put me off my goal.

W = Worthwhile : i.e. How does this goal fit in and support my deepest desires and values?

I love to learn, I see myself as capable of learning and I find the whole idea of learning Arabic fulfilling on many levels, so no problems there.

However, in the game of Rock, Scissors, Paper, your goal will lose out to your conflicting values. If there is a conflict between your goal and something you believe or aspire to, then the goal is starting off on shaky ground and it won’t take much to drop it… or rather, it will take a lot more effort to achieve it.

The only possible conflict I’ve identified around this goal is time. I think I have sorted out this conflict because the personal fulfillment that comes from checking emails and analysing web traffic is not as important to me as the type that comes from learning a new language. However, because I know I have the ability to squander time, I will be keeping an eye on it to make sure that whatever motivates me to squander it does not creep in again. If it does, I’ll post about it and will demonstrate a combination of EFT and NLP techniques to combat it. So far, I’ve just used the data from my time analysis exercise and a conscious effort to apply more discipline. It’s vital to keep an eye on this potential goal-wrecker because if it creeps in while I’m not looking, it does have the potential to throw me off my goal and make me lose the motivation to get back on.

If you do this exercise, identify any clashes between your goal and your values and address them. For example if you want to lose weight but deep down you believe that thin people are miserable, then you’ll inadvertently be less committed to losing weight.

If you go through these steps, you’ll find it makes you think in immense detail - You’re now clearer about what you want and you want it badly. Having worked through the kinks, the goal has become significantly more achievable, juicy and attractive!

My tutorial books have now arrived and I’m excited to move on from the mental preparation and get on with doing the task using methods to try and accelerate my learning. More about that next time… Remember to subscribe by RSS or email if you’d like to receive updates.

As always, I invite you to share your experiences, thoughts and tips.

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Language Challenge Part 3 – Curiosity and its Role in Learning

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Time Analysis for Improved Time Management

Reeta Luthra — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 11:57:56 +0000

In his book, Hot Prospects, Bill Good talks of his Time Analysis experiment – he gave a group of brokers a little gadget and asked them to punch in their start and end times for any activity they did during their working day.

When he collected the data, it turned out he hadn’t been measuring the periods of activity at all. He’d been measuring the amount of time in-between those activities – the time where the brokers were not actively doing something meaningful or productive towards their working goals.

Bill found that out of a typical 9 hour day, the brokers were spending 4 hours “off” and that less than one hour a day was being spent in their most vital role of meeting with interested and qualified prospects.

The Language Challenge I am undertaking at the moment has highlighted my issues with time – I know lots of us feel there’s not enough time in the day and rather than get stressed and implement changes willy-nilly, I think it’s useful to get some data in to find out how time is currently being used.

So for the last week I have been doing a time analysis experiment of my own. It’s very basic – an Excel spreadsheet with the time marked in 15 minute increments down the side and the days across the top. I fill in the cells with the activity I have just completed and then I colour-code it:

Green = Time well spent / Obligations & commitments / unavoidable travel time
Orange = Could have been better
Red = Time not spent well at all

Because nobody else sees this spreadsheet, it’s easier to be frank with myself when it comes to colour-coding it. I mark social and relaxation activities as green – they’re important for well-being!

So far I average 1 red hour a day and 2 orange hours a day. Potentially, this gives me 21 extra hours a week and I don’t have to do much to access them! The Time Analysis has told me exactly where I can be more efficient and because I know this, I can now do something about it.

I’ve already made one very simple change that has turned out to have an incredible effect – I switched off the sound notification when a new email comes in. Now I am not forever being summoned to switch screens, read the latest and get side-tracked.

Take a week to do your own time analysis. Create your own colour coding and have it so that your equivalent of my red and orange stands out. Remember that this exercise is not about beating yourself up. It’s just research that shows you what you are currently doing. Knowledge gives you the power to gain control.

Mine is a very simple spreadsheet - if you want mine as a template, let me know in a comment and I’ll make it available for download.

Do you have any tips and strategies for time analysis or time management? Share them below.

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Exercise: Muscle Testing Your Subconscious Mind

Reeta Luthra — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 16:30:08 +0000

It is said that our subconscious mind holds the memory of every single experience we have ever had – things we have seen and heard even if we didn’t consciously register them at the time. Jill Price involuntarily takes this ability to an extreme and has baffled scientists with the detail and precision of her memories.

Our subconscious mind is a chatty fellow and talks to us all the time. The trouble is that its language is not always one of words and often its voice is subtle, fleeting and easily overlooked in our busy lives.

In The Zone

When you’re “in the zone”, you’re relaxed, calm and you’re trusting yourself. You’re in tune with the part of your subconscious that can help you the most with whatever you’re doing.

This exercise aims to help you recognise and access this “in the zone” state more often.

As the subconscious holds your deepest fears and desires as well as knowledge, it gives you the potential to understand your motives a lot better than you already do. There is a lot of information stored within the labyrinth of memories, ideas, fiction and facts inside your head. With enough practice, you should be able to get into the zone whenever you want to regardless of external pressure.

I’ve chosen this unconventional exercise because it is so different to methods you may already have come across. Plus it is fun and makes a great party trick.

The Exercise

The Objective of the Exercise

To separate a pack of cards into black and red piles while the cards are lying face down.

The Players

This exercise tends to naturally appeal to the experimental and curious side of creative/artistic natures. Those who are more logical and analytical obtain an extra benefit from this exercise – it helps to develop creative, explorative muscles which provide an elegant backdrop to naturally logical thought processes.

It tends not to appeal to people who associate pendulums with the occult. This is not an occult exercise and the reason that it works is explained in the steps below. It is a form of muscle testing that is used in some therapy models.

The Tools

One pack of playing cards.
A pendulum. Make your own by stringing a chain through a ring. Balanced designs work best so use simple chains and rings without stones. The ring should be heavier than the chain.

The Steps

Shuffle the cards well.
Turn the pile face up, flick through it for a couple of seconds. You’re not trying to remember anything, you’re just giving your eyes a chance to see the cards.
Place the pack face down in front of you.
Hang the pendulum from the tip of the index finger on your dominant hand. This finger is your strongest finger and good for beginners.
Now ask yourself some easy “Yes” or “No” questions. You will notice that your pendulum starts swinging one way for “yes” and another way for “no”. No, you’re not in a seance! What is happening is that your brain knows the answer and is responding by producing its usual imperceptible electrical currents in your body. Your finger feels these and the pendulum is the visual representation of what is going on inside your body. It’s the Mind/Body connection.
Once you are happy that you have a consistent swing for each Yes and No, hold the pendulum over each card and ask “Is this a red card?”. You are trusting that your subconscious mind knows the card as it saw the card in step 2. Separate the cards according to the swing of the pendulum, keeping them face down. This step is the “muscle building” step. The more you do this, the better you will get at receiving and interpreting the message from your subconscious mind. You will also get quicker at recognising and accessing your ideal “in the zone” state for retrieving information from your subconscious mind. 52 cards is a lot of cards to go through and this gives you “in the zone” endurance training.
Look at your separated piles and note your results. Once you get good at it, challenge yourself further by skipping step 2.

I’m very interested to know how you get on so do drop me a line.

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Telephone Etiquette for Influence and Persuasion

Reeta Luthra — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 23:14:46 +0000

When we communicate to influence or persuade, our success depends on how the other person interprets and responds to that communication. To make success a more likely option, we have to set our stage with care.

Many people want to avoid direct contact, possibly fearing confrontation. They will send an email or a text when telephone would be more effective. In terms of influence and persuasion, the right method of communication needs as much attention as the message itself.

In business and personal relationships, there are times when there is no substitute for voice contact. Email tennis takes a lot of time, can be misinterpreted and can prolong something that could be resolved in minutes with a phone call. Choosing an inappropriate form of communication can have consequences such as losing you a sale or preventing bridges from being mended. Make your choice wisely.

Once you have decided that telephone is the appropriate choice, some basic rules of engagement help you to set the scene for success.

Peak Performers use telephone etiquette to get more value from their time.

1: It’s About Them Too

We’ve all experienced this. Someone calls at an inopportune time and just talks, talks, talks. You can’t get a word in. You don’t want to be rude. But you have things to do. Although their voice is in your ear, you miss the conversation as your internal eyes and ears are seeing and hearing something else. In terms of influence and persuasion, you are quite underwhelmed.

Mobile phones facilitate instant access to people and create a false sense of urgency. When you call a mobile, your contact may be on the train, closing a deal with a customer or in the middle of an argument. The false sense of urgency that makes them take your call also creates a frustrated sense of intrusion if your reason for calling has less significance to them than what they were doing. If they are with a group of people or in a public place, they are now performing to an audience, perhaps trying to create a certain image and this will influence their response to you

You want them on your side. Don’t give them a reason to view you as an intrusion.

When you call someone:

Start by asking if they have time to talk. If you have something important to say and the other person is preoccupied, your message will be lost.
Throughout the conversation, stay alert to tonal signs of distraction. When a person is distracted, your words fall on ears that are difficult to influence or persuade. Politely make an appointment to call them later.
Don’t hog the conversation. Give them room to comment.
Don’t complete their sentences for them.

2: Snap, Crackle, Pop

There is little room for influence or persuasion if the other person can’t hear you.

There is little pleasure in a conversation with someone calling from a bad line or a place with a lot of background noise. Few calls are so important that they must be made under these conditions. Calling from the car subjects your listener to changing signal strengths and road noises. If you crash, they get to hear that too.

In some business cultures, communication from the car has become normal practice. If you must do it, make the call while you are stationary and have the windows closed.

3: Appearance

By drawing the person to you, you draw them to your message.

Not the way you look, but the way you sound. Studies show that people who talk on the phone using the same gestures, intonations and facial movements as face-to-face are more successful with their telephone objectives. As common as it is, talking to a disembodied voice is not natural and it does create nerves and fear in some people.

Smiling while you are talking helps to relax you and the relaxation comes through in your voice, helping to create clear speech with a natural and steady rhythm to your conversation. If you are worried you will forget what you have to say, make notes beforehand and have them there in front of you. This common and effective method is used by peak performers every day to ensure continuity and complete coverage.

Telephone etiquette communicates at both a conscious and subliminal level, showing a side of you that can’t be spoken with words.

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The Ultimatum Issuers Checklist, Or How To Recognise When To Keep Your Cool

Reeta Luthra — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 16:27:37 +0000

photo by: http://www.sxc.hu/profile/clshearin

Sometimes, ultimatums are an essential tool to get you travelling on your road to success again. But other times, they’re an unfortunate stress by-product that you didn’t really mean.

Before you emphatically issue that righteous ultimatum, perhaps it would be worth double-checking your reasons behind it.

The Checklist

1. Are you pulling a double bluff to provoke a particular response? If so, consider where you’ll be if they don’t bite.

2. Are you running away from dealing with a particular issue? [also see 3] Big one this as some situations present bigger learning opportunities than others. If there’s a pattern of this issue in your life, you may as well face it head on and break the cycle.

3. Running away/Ignoring/avoiding someone or something and turning the other cheek are entirely different beasts. Don’t y’all be confusing them now.

4. Are you angry? Might be best to take some time out and review the situation later.

5. Are you seduced by the short-term pleasure of revenge you’ll get? Once you’ve had that satisfaction, your ultimatum will still be there. Will you be able to manage that huge slice of humble pie in front of you?

6. Are you secretly in denial of the grain of truth in someone’s words or actions? Embarrased even? No need to punish the messenger…

7. Have you thought about what it’s going to take to reverse the ultimatum? If you have, you’re not sure enough to be issuing it just yet.

8. Are you unsure of how to express your needs in any other way? There’s often a high degree of pain, anger or desperation (sometimes all three) behind that ultimatum moment. These can prevent you from seeing the range of alternative options, actions and opportunites open to you.

9. Do you want to control somebody else because you know what’s best for them? Would you be happy if someone controlled you?

10. Is this ultimatum just another in a line of regular, empty ultimatums? To be effective, ultimatums need to be issued with discretion. Save them for the important things.

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Gain Precious Years Through Improving Your Decision Making Strategy

Reeta Luthra — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 11:46:02 +0000

This post has been moved to Reeta Luthra’s site about Stress and Your Health. You can find the post here.

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