Some years ago, I had just started a new job when I purchased one of my first books on NLP. I used it to go through a thought exercise to improve my performance in this new job. The exercise was a bit of an anti-climax, I felt no different and I soon forgot about it.
Well, a few months into the job, everything was going fine. I had received a promotion already, got on well with my colleagues and I was very happy, enjoying going in every morning and positively sparkling with energy.
Then, the manager had some very good news for us. We were finally going to be moving out of the dilapidated old building and into a purpose-built office in another part of the complex. Woohoo!
We moved and… I began to miss the old office. The desks here were too close together. Any key could open any filing cabinet. The lighting was poor, the air-conditioning too cold, the chocolate machine often out of order… you get the picture.
On top of this, I grew disgruntled and unhappy in my role and decided to leave.
Shortly thereafter, I remembered that thought exercise and it all made sense. It had worked after all.
I had subconsciously “programmed” myself to be in peak performance mode when I entered the office – the old office!
Now, the old office was dire. Clutter everywhere. Paint peeling off the walls, one central light fitting in the middle of the room, desks so old, some were propped up on books. And woe betide the person who set a coffee cup down on that extra wobbly surface next to the printer. Yet, somehow none of this had mattered and I had performed magnificently.
I was a bit shook up when I made this connection. Did it mean that I was a poor performer unless I had an NLP technique to back me up?
The good news is absolutely not! The potential for Peak Performance resides within us already. But environmental factors can affect it. After some self-analysis, the environmental factor that affects me is lighting. If there is good natural light, nothing else matters.
image: http://www.sxc.hu/profile/hisks
What I had done with that NLP thought exercise was put that need for good lighting on hold as soon as I entered the office. The green door of the office was the trigger that told my subconscience “okay, forget the lighting, do some work”.
The new office didn’t have that same green door so there was no trigger to help me bypass the need for the good lighting. So I was hit by this missing essential and because I strongly value it, it cast a shadow over everything else.
Now an NLP Master with almost 5 years of NLP behind me, I can see I made a classic newbie error back then.
I applied a technique without understanding what the real issue was. The real issue lay in my sense of priorities. I valued the sense of peace and well-being that comes with good natural light over and above the sense of personal satisfaction that comes with performing at my best.
Now there is nothing wrong with this. Peace and well-being are noble values. However, in an office where I am unable to change the environment, these values, in this order of importance, become inappropriate.
In this situation, there was no damage done. I found a better job where I was very happy.
However, applying a “quick-fix” can be blinding. Remember, I remembered my NLP thought exercise and was able to isolate and identify my triggers. If I hadn’t been able to do this, I would have completely missed the relationship between natural light and my outlook at work. So this blindness would have left me free to have the same pattern occur again and again and again.
NLP is a natural process
Just as we hypnotise ourselves naturally throughout the day, we NLP ourselves throughout the day too. When we step into the other person’s shoes before responding we’ve unwittingly applied a version of the “Different Perspectives” NLP technique.
When we say “I don’t know what I ever saw in him/her”, we’ve unwittingly applied the techniques of “Disassociation” and “Reframing”.
I had a message from someone who mentioned he had overcome his commitment issues by “cooling things” with his current girlfriend. Subconsciously, he pictures his relationship and feels an inexplicable constriction. So naturally, he wants to move away from this pain. He feels happier now but I don’t know how his girlfriend feels about the “cooled” relationship.
As powerful as the techniques are, it’s unlikely that one NLP technique will solve his commitment issues. The key lies in resolving his inexplicable constriction. A technique could relieve this, but it will be temporary relief if the root of his issue lies in a part of his psyche that he is unwilling or not ready to explore yet.
Self-awareness is brutal as it brings us in touch with aspects of ourselves that we’d rather not admit to, even to ourselves.
However, papering over the cracks and blinkering our vision does not do us justice.
We’re all better than that.
