Sometimes we do things that turn out to be a bit odd and not what we’d intended.

An idea seems absolutely terrific in our own head but then when we work to give it a shape in the outside world, we get quite defensive when people suggest the idea needs tweaking.

Government is an easy target for examples of odd implementation. Nevertheless, one example I came across today deserves a mention.

Dubai launched its first Metro a couple of months ago to tackle the enormous problem of traffic congestion in the city.

It’s not fully built yet but there are a number of stations in full operation around the city, including one at the new Emirates airport terminal. So it seems logical to assume that people will use the Metro to transport themselves and their luggage to and from the airport (as is normal practice in other cities around the world).

However, the Dubai metro allows each passenger just one item of hand-luggage of a certain size. This means that a lot of people who are flying in or out from the airport will not be allowed to use the Metro for the land part of their travel requirements.

Peyman Parham, director of marketing and corporate communication, RTA, told Emirates Business:

“If just a few people come and ask us for more baggage allowance, we will not consider it. But if tens of thousands said they would use the Metro if they are allowed to carry heavy luggage we would consider it.”

Quite bizarre.

But is it bizarre when we think about how precious our own ideas are to us? It can become easy to become so immersed in what we are doing that we forget to consider who we are doing it for and what impact it is having on them. We end up cutting off our nose to spite our face.

The next time someone challenges something you have done, what a great opportunity to use this information you are being given to further sculpt and refine what you are doing. Even if you don’t change a thing, you’ll be richer for having considered not only the suggestion but also what’s really driving you.

People make suggestions because they care. It lets you know they are not indifferent.

What do you think?

John Gray is coming to London!

John Gray PhD, author of more than 16 best-selling books with over 40 million copies sold worldwide, including the relationship classic, ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’, is coming to the UK on November 17th 2009 to introduce his latest work ‘Why Mars & Venus Collide’ .

The one off event, “An Evening with John Gray”, will be hosted by Great Expectations at the Hotel Ibis in Earls Court, London.

To book your tickets with a special 10% discount for readers of Paradox of Reality, click here.

An Evening With John Gray: Why Mars & Venus Collide is a definitive manual to help men and women thrive together in the 21st century and will show you how you can use everyday pressures to build greater intimacy with your loved ones and strengthen your relationships to make them last.

Stress & Relationships

The evening, which starts at 6.30 pm will begin by looking at how the pressures of our modern lifestyles are putting added stress on our relationships and making it harder and harder for them to work out long term.

John will go on to discuss how men and women deal with stress in different ways and how their different needs often lead to misunderstandings, miscommunication and resentment — in short, why Mars and Venus collide.  Bringing Mars and Venus into the 21st century, John Gray explores the different ways men and women approach their problems and offers a clear, easy-to-understand programme to bridge the gap.

Says John, “We need to challenge our assumptions about how men & women should be and begin to appreciate in practical terms who we are, what we can offer each other, and how we can team up to solve the new problems we face today.”  Working together, “We can create a new blueprint for male and female roles that can bring us closer together harmoniously.”

At this special event you will learn…

• How the pressures of our modern lifestyles are putting added stress on our relationships
• Why it is getting harder and harder to make relationships work long term
• How men and women deal with stress in different ways
• How our different needs often lead to misunderstandings, miscommunication and resentment — in short, why Mars and Venus collide
• How men and women approach their problems and what to do to avoid and solve relationship problems

Bringing Mars and Venus into the 21st century, John Gray will explore the different ways men and women approach their problems and offer a clear, easy-to-understand programme to bridge the gap.

Meet John Gray
VIP ticket holders will join John Gray at a champagne reception after the seminar and receive an autographed copy of John’s latest book.

Get a special 10% discount
By using the link below you can get a special 10% discount on ticket prices.
This is a time limited offer. Book your tickets now.

For more information and to book your tickets with the special 10% discount available to readers of Paradox of Reality, visit http://www.greatexpectations.info/gray/specialdiscount.php?param2= 1368_Reeta_Pindoria

Two things you should know. First, I’m fascinated by Feng Shui. Second, I HATE to cook. I always said that my ideal house would be one that had no kitchen.

No, this article is not about how I used Feng Shui to make me cook. I would never deliberately torture myself in that way.

In my teens, I studied Feng Shui and decided to use it to get myself a nice Range Rover. I really, truly, with all my heart wanted this Range Rover. I found out which part of the house needed to be “addressed” for this and set up the appropriate bait. (magazine cut-outs of Range Rovers). Then I sat back and waited.

Nothing happened. No dream car materialised. Ahh… Never mind, no harm done, it was just an experiment anyway.

Then last year, I went abroad over Dec 08 and Jan 09. Returning in February, I was so sad to find my one and only beloved houseplant was nearly dead. I had left it by mistake in a darkened room and it had received no sunlight or water for two months. It had shed it’s leaves and branches dropped off when I touched it.  I wanted to rescue this plant so I dragged it to the sunniest room in the house, which happened to be the kitchen. I gave it lots of water and a bit of talk therapy (Thank you Prince Charles).

A bit after that, I noticed I was spending more time in the kitchen and enjoying it!! It’s so bizarre – it’s almost like Reeta the anti-cook went to bed one night and Reeta the super-cook got out of bed the next morning. I say “super-cook” because it turns out that I can actually cook (my Mum will confirm). Most amazingly, I even do something that I never thought I would do in my lifetime – make sauces and freeze them!

Today, I see cooking as a normal activity and I can’t imagine how I hated it for so long.

Now I don’t know if this is just another superstition that I imposed on myself somehow or if I was lucky enough to inadvertantly kick-start some Feng Shui magic. Makes sense if you think about how a kitchen is the heart of a house and my sick plant received nourishment there. Perhaps I added to the plants recovery through adding more nourishment to the air through cooking and it returned the nourishment to me by allowing me enjoy doing something so fundamentally beneficial.

Or perhaps Feng Shui has absolutely nothing to do with it.

A more likely explanation is that I returned from my trip all refreshed and happy, got properly shocked by the state of the poor plant because I do genuinely have a soft spot for it, put it somewhere to give it nourishment and had a lightbulb moment regarding the relationship between nourishment and cooking and health. I don’t know.

What I do know is that changes in behaviour can happen very quickly and very dramatically when the conditions are right.

I don’t think we need to wait for fate to grant us a magic moment. We can create this ourselves through conscious effort by taking ownership of what we want to change.

Once you’ve identified a behaviour you want to change, start by fully understanding the ways you are self-sabotaging your efforts in changing this behaviour. This self-sabotage represents the things you value and to change a behaviour with integrity, you must honour your values.

Setting the right conditions in our minds provides the thoughts and hence the behaviours that make achievement and success possible.

PS: If anyone has a spare Range Rover, I’m providing the conditions by way of a contact form on this site for you to get in touch