Back in 1997 or so, I registered my first domain name for the bargain price of just under £90.

My new friends from across the pond (when they’d finished laughing) told me where I could buy a domain for a lot less. I listened attentively, acutely aware that I had messed up.

I clicked through to their recommendation and breathed a sigh of relief. This site was absolute rubbish!!!! It looked put together by a circus clown who was no doubt preparing to run off with all the registration money.

Joyously, I went back to my original registrar and basked in the glory of his professional, tidy and sedate website before putting down a couple more £90’s for a couple more domains.

In my circle of friends, I was the first to go online, the first to break the pain barrier of learning HTML and the workings of the internet. I was a pioneer wasn’t I? I should be getting recognition for this, not criticism.

My sensitivity to an alternate viewpoint helped me stay doggedly assured that I had paid a fair price. So when I went to look at the cheaper site, my mind-set was already set to sabotage any rational decision-making. I was looking for faults. I was on the hunt for an excuse that would let me justify the price I had paid . The cosmetic ugliness assaulting my eyes was enough justification and I never really gave the content a chance.

I recognised this same pattern in a client who came to see me last year. He was in desperate need and kept telling me I was “his last chance”. But at every session I could see him looking for reasons to leave. He was critical of the process, making payment and of me.

Although his issue was significantly more troublesome than an expensive domain, the similarities were there.

• The problem: He was ill. I had an expensive domain.
• The goal: He’d been told coaching would make the pain go away. I’d been told I could get a cheaper domain.
• The sensitivity: He wanted recognition for surviving his life thus far. I wanted recognition for learning about the internet.
• The result: He held on to the expensive behaviours that he’d “earned” through pain. Same as me.

From time to time, we all make decisions that don’t really help our cause. That’s not a problem because that’s just human nature.

Continuing to stick to a course of action when you have recognised a poor decision is a problem.

You don’t have to go backwards trying to find the same fork in the road to re-do that decision. As soon as you recognise a poor decision, evaluate your opportunities/choices/options as they stand right now (not back then) and change course starting from today.

In case you’re wondering, I was wiser by the time renewal time came round and found 123-reg.co.uk for my domain registrations.

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Photo credit: sue r b
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Emotional well-being gives you backup when things get difficult. You let old niggles go, you fester less, have better perspective and you start making stronger decisions.

Long-term exposure to dark emotions like stress, anger and resentment can make us ill, so doing something little every day that helps chip away at these feelings is as important as eating and sleeping.

As a reader of Paradox of Reality, I’d love to know what you do and their pros and cons. Do some methods work better than others? Please leave a comment below.

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