The Double Edged Sword of Help
Monday, June 29th, 2009
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Filed under: Personal Development
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I definitely feel like I´m being someone´s crutch at work. What steps can I take to politely stop helping people?
It’s hard to say without knowing your specific circumstances! But I’m not sure you necessarily need to stop helping. Changing the nature of your help might be enough.
Perhaps just leave something open-ended, pointing to a solution without actually giving it or doing it, so that they have to achieve the “answer” themselves.
When I catch myself in a controlling mood, I check in to see what fear is driving this.The understanding or awareness seems to help me stop controlling and shift into a more compassionate state of listening. I have found that once the mind get the message “it’s ok, no fear here,” the habit stops. But it has taken me a long time with lots of “owies” to get to this level. I do carry guilt of squashing my children’s own development though.
Thanks for sharing this article.
Cynthia´s last blog ..Hurry Up and Relax!
Love the tip Cynthia. Fear does have a tendency to echo long after the original reason for it is no longer valid.