7 Ways Role Models Influence Your Success
Just as water moulds it way into rock, the people we encounter leave their mark on the bedrock of our world too.
As you think of areas in your life that have been influenced or shaped by others, it can seem as if the enriching encounters happen more by luck and good fortune.
When luck is an attitude, you control the influences entering your life. You can cherry pick just the right kind of positive influence on your experiences, actions and thoughts.
Role Models encourage:
1) Self-belief - Viktor Frankl survived Auschwitz. Surrounded by evil, death and fear, he found a way to continue his life’s work. Terry Fator’s dedication to his art went unappreciated for many years before he finally won America’s Got Talent and became internationally reknowned. Nobody would have thought any less of Frankl or Fator if they had given up. In fact, many would have expected it. But thankfully, Frankl and Fator were not driven by what was expected, they were driven by their own aspirations and beliefs.
As role models, they teach us that it’s okay to work hard towards what we want despite circumstances.
2) Faith in our ability - Milton Erickson was paralyzed through polio aged 17. Watching his baby sister learn how to crawl helped him become aware of his own muscles again. Stroke victims have also found role models in babies when re-learning how to walk.
Until 1954, nobody had run a mile under 4 minutes. Then Roger Bannister did it. Just 46 days later, his record was broken. Records continue to be broken because of the role model effect. If one person can do something, someone else can learn to do it too.
Watching a master at work is a graceful experience. Watch with the hungry eyes of a student and you will pick up the nuances that marks the person out as a master. NLP is big on modelling behaviours. An NLP presupposition is that if someone can do something, then anyone else can learn to do it too.
3) Action - When problems and obstacles seem a hassle or even unsurmountable, it can be easy to remain at best in a comfortable everyday rut and at worst, a victim. Limiting your exposure to negative people, and having people around you with the type of energy that moves you, provides a helping hand that complements your own efforts. With resistance being what it is, it’s up to you to let their positive influence in. Giovanna Garcia removed herself from severely draining influences in her life and took action to create her own success.
A role model inspires you to step beyond wishful thinking and into a place of action.
4) Facing shadows – Sometimes, a kick in the butt comes from the unlikeliest sources. I once worked with a guy who would snack on an apple every afternoon. He’d sit there and polish it diligently for 5 minutes and then take a big juicy bite that would go round and round in his mouth for a loud eternity. Then he’d sit and stare into space for a while before taking another big, juicy bite, sucking it dry before finally putting it out of its misery. Every day I would seethe at his blatant inconsideration.
It was a rude awakening when I realised that boredom and frustration in my own job were resenting him for having the job I deserved. This was even though I knew his job would take my career in a direction I didn’t want to go. That spurred me to face my fears about doing what I wanted to do and ultimately taught me to understand the stress signals in my body before they impacted my behaviour.
When you take an unreasonable dislike to someone, there’s a good chance you are seeing something about yourself being reflected back at you.
5) New perspectives - In everyday life, we follow patterns that we have created. You may have noticed that in your personal relationships you tend to favour a particular sense. You may lose yourself in the closeness of touch, the musical sound of voice, the comfort of words or the delightful vision before you. This pattern tends to hold true in the various aspects of your life although the favoured sense may change according to context.
A role model encourages us to step out of these patterns and experience things using more of our senses. As children, we used all our senses all the time. We loved getting dirty, feeling the paint, seeing the colour and making a lot of noise. Role models can give us a similar sense of freedom and opportunity. Because we’re out of our usual pattern for the moment, we’re using more of the lesser used senses in that particular context and so process the information in a different way.
6) Your intrinsic value - Here’s a quote from “The Waltons”, a childhood favourite.
“[narration as John 'John Boy' Walton, Jr. reading from his journal] Whenever I look back to those days when I was growing up in the Great Depression, I’m always convinced that I came from a remarkable family. It wasn’t that my brothers and sisters and I were sheltered from the realities of those difficult times. It was simply that our mother and father had a way of making more of what we had and less of what we didn’t have.”
Role models help us to make more of what we hold inside us. As you fulfil your potential with integrity, in a way that meets your values, your self-esteem flourishes.
7) Independent thought - You will never be your role model. And that’s a good thing. You will infuse what they teach you with your own qualities and produce something fresh and unique as you grow into your dreams.
That’s when you realise that your individuality isn’t something you display by simply being quirky. Your individuality is your gift to the lives you touch – once you lose the fear to use it.
If life is a game of Snakes & Ladders, role models bring more ladders onto your board.
I’d love to hear your stories… How have you been inspired or helped by a role model?
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Filed under: NLP • Personal Development • Thoughts Create Reality
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Hi Reeta:
I love what you write. I have always had a hard time answering the question when someone asks me who is a role model to me? I’ve never really bought into that idea. I’ve always felt that the my own individuality and sense of self was good enough for now. The funny thing is, I’ve tried to work with a mentor or role model in the past and it never worked for me. I am a trial and error person though so maybe if I was more willing to be like another, my life path may have been less bumpy. Who knows?
Thanks for sharing.
Cynthia
Cynthia Christianson’s last blog post..Butterfly Landings
Love your article… going to write a bit more about this next week and link back to it. Role models and success is a great topic in general. Thanks for sharing (found you as a fellow commenter on Problogger challenge)
Hi Cynthia – Thanks for your comment, it’s certainly got me thinking!
First, could it be that “Role model” is too generic for reality? It implies that we have to copy what the other person does (and become them), when in fact, we just want to model a certain aspect of that person to allow it to strengthen something we are developing inside us.
And second, I wonder about the difference in effectiveness between a) consciously choosing a role model who looks good on paper and b) being subconsciously drawn to someone who has the qualities we want for ourself.
Paula – thank you, what a compliment that is!
Thinking about it, Darren at Problogger (http://problogger.net) inspires all 7 criteria that I’ve described above when it comes to blogging.