A sports car pulls to a stop opposite my house. It’s driven by a well-dressed woman, early twenties with immaculate make-up and she is with her boyfriend.

A few minutes later, her window winds down and she flings out the remains of their dinner from McDonalds. As the fries, cartons and other assorted goodies spill across the road, she screeches off as fast as she can before anyone spots her.

Self respect, integrity & dignity come when we are in tune with ourselves.

They come when our actions add weight to our good thoughts and noble words.

It is said that our subconscious mind holds the memory of every single experience we have ever had – things we have seen and heard even if we didn’t consciously register them at the time. Jill Price involuntarily takes this ability to an extreme and has baffled scientists with the detail and precision of her memories.

Our subconscious mind is a chatty fellow and talks to us all the time. The trouble is that its language is not always one of words and often its voice is subtle, fleeting and easily overlooked in our busy lives.

In The Zone

When you’re “in the zone”, you’re relaxed, calm and you’re trusting yourself. You’re in tune with the part of your subconscious that can help you the most with whatever you’re doing.

This exercise aims to help you recognise and access this “in the zone” state more often.

As the subconscious holds your deepest fears and desires as well as knowledge, it gives you the potential to understand your motives a lot better than you already do. There is a lot of information stored within the labyrinth of memories, ideas, fiction and facts inside your head. With enough practice, you should be able to get into the zone whenever you want to regardless of external pressure.

I’ve chosen this unconventional exercise because it is so different to methods you may already have come across. Plus it is fun and makes a great party trick.

The Exercise

The Objective of the Exercise

To separate a pack of cards into black and red piles while the cards are lying face down.

The Players

This exercise tends to naturally appeal to the experimental and curious side of creative/artistic natures. Those who are more logical and analytical obtain an extra benefit from this exercise – it helps to develop creative, explorative muscles which provide an elegant backdrop to naturally logical thought processes.

It tends not to appeal to people who associate pendulums with the occult. This is not an occult exercise and the reason that it works is explained in the steps below. It is a form of muscle testing that is used in some therapy models.

The Tools

• One pack of playing cards.
• A pendulum. Make your own by stringing a chain through a ring. Balanced designs work best so use simple chains and rings without stones. The ring should be heavier than the chain.

The Steps

1. Shuffle the cards well.
2. Turn the pile face up, flick through it for a couple of seconds. You’re not trying to remember anything, you’re just giving your eyes a chance to see the cards.
3. Place the pack face down in front of you.
4. Hang the pendulum from the tip of the index finger on your dominant hand. This finger is your strongest finger and good for beginners.
5. Now ask yourself some easy “Yes” or “No” questions. You will notice that your pendulum starts swinging one way for “yes” and another way for “no”. No, you’re not in a seance! What is happening is that your brain knows the answer and is responding by producing its usual imperceptible electrical currents in your body.  Your finger feels these and the pendulum is the visual representation of what is going on inside your body. It’s the Mind/Body connection.
6. Once you are happy that you have a consistent swing for each Yes and No, hold the pendulum over each card and ask “Is this a red card?”. You are trusting that your subconscious mind knows the card as it saw the card in step 2. Separate the cards according to the swing of the pendulum, keeping them face down. This step is the “muscle building” step. The more you do this, the better you will get at receiving and interpreting the message from your subconscious mind. You will also get quicker at recognising and accessing your ideal “in the zone” state for retrieving information from your subconscious mind. 52 cards is a lot of cards to go through and this gives you “in the zone” endurance training.
7. Look at your separated piles and note your results. Once you get good at it, challenge yourself further by skipping step 2.

I’m very interested to know how you get on so do drop me a line.

When we communicate to influence or persuade, our success depends on how the other person interprets and responds to that communication. To make success a more likely option, we have to set our stage with care.

Many people want to avoid direct contact, possibly fearing confrontation. They will send an email or a text when telephone would be more effective. In terms of influence and persuasion, the right method of communication needs as much attention as the message itself.

In business and personal relationships, there are times when there is no substitute for voice contact. Email tennis takes a lot of time, can be misinterpreted and can prolong something that could be resolved in minutes with a phone call. Choosing an inappropriate form of communication can have consequences such as losing you a sale or preventing bridges from being mended. Make your choice wisely.

Once you have decided that telephone is the appropriate choice, some basic rules of engagement help you to set the scene for success.

Peak Performers use telephone etiquette to get more value from their time.

1: It’s About Them Too

We’ve all experienced this. Someone calls at an inopportune time and just talks, talks, talks. You can’t get a word in. You don’t want to be rude. But you have things to do. Although their voice is in your ear, you miss the conversation as your internal eyes and ears are seeing and hearing something else. In terms of influence and persuasion, you are quite underwhelmed.

Mobile phones facilitate instant access to people and create a false sense of urgency. When you call a mobile, your contact may be on the train, closing a deal with a customer or in the middle of an argument. The false sense of urgency that makes them take your call also creates a frustrated sense of intrusion if your reason for calling has less significance to them than what they were doing. If they are with a group of people or in a public place, they are now performing to an audience, perhaps trying to create a certain image and this will influence their response to you

You want them on your side. Don’t give them a reason to view you as an intrusion.

When you call someone:

• Start by asking if they have time to talk. If you have something important to say and the other person is preoccupied, your message will be lost.
• Throughout the conversation, stay alert to tonal signs of distraction. When a person is distracted, your words fall on ears that are difficult to influence or persuade. Politely make an appointment to call them later.
• Don’t hog the conversation. Give them room to comment.
• Don’t complete their sentences for them.

2: Snap, Crackle, Pop

There is little room for influence or persuasion if the other person can’t hear you.

There is little pleasure in a conversation with someone calling from a bad line or a place with a lot of background noise. Few calls are so important that they must be made under these conditions. Calling from the car subjects your listener to changing signal strengths and road noises. If you crash, they get to hear that too.

In some business cultures, communication from the car has become normal practice. If you must do it, make the call while you are stationary and have the windows closed.

3: Appearance

By drawing the person to you, you draw them to your message.

Not the way you look, but the way you sound. Studies show that people who talk on the phone using the same gestures, intonations and facial movements as face-to-face are more successful with their telephone objectives. As common as it is, talking to a disembodied voice is not natural and it does create nerves and fear in some people.

Smiling while you are talking helps to relax you and the relaxation comes through in your voice, helping to create clear speech with a natural and steady rhythm to your conversation. If you are worried you will forget what you have to say, make notes beforehand and have them there in front of you. This common and effective method is used by  peak performers every day to ensure continuity and complete coverage.

Telephone etiquette communicates at both a conscious and subliminal level, showing a side of you that can’t be spoken with words.