I just found Morrissey on twitter… a quick click and I became a follower… Woohoo!  As to whether or not it is the *real* Morrissey I am following, that’s up for debate!!

It did get me thinking about illusions and delusions however. Both are erroneous beliefs or perceptions with delusions going a step further by standing their ground in the face of invalidating evidence. I’m not talking about medically diagnosed delusions that come with forms of psychosis as they have their own qualities that I’ll discuss in a future post.

No. What I am talking about is the everyday illusions and delusions that afflict us generally.

  • Simon likes to stay late at the office as he’ll only be given jobs to do at home. Besides, his wife has the children to look after, she won’t miss him.
  • Martine works very long hours in the run up to the annual bonus. Her boss however sees working long hours and simply being in the office for hours as two very different things.
  • Tom, a confirmed bachelor aged 36, with five long-term relationships behind him, is not shy in admitting he never wants to get married. Jen, his latest devoted girlfriend, knows he’ll change his mind for her.

Technically, Simon, Martine and Jen are all a bit deluded. Yet, they are all behaving in ways that are fulfilling their needs.

Simon wants peace and rest after a day at work and he’s discovered the only way to get it is by getting home too late to spend time with his wife who herself is in need of adult conversation and support after being home alone all day. Martine wants her bonus and sees herself as a dedicated and deserving employee as she seems to spend all her time physically in the office. Jen wants a husband, a soul-mate to share her life with. She needs to believe her man will marry her because otherwise, what is the point in continuing this relationship.

 All three believe that they are doing the best they can given their situation. As observers we can see that Simon is probably heading for marital strife, Martine for a showdown and Jen for heartbreak. But they can’t see that yet because their need to fulfil what they want is so great that raising blinkers to shield them from seeing what else could be happening becomes an automatic response. The chances are that their hope is so great that they don’t even know they are wearing blinkers.

Life without blinkers would mean they would have to address some potentially uncomfortable facts. Yet, what they gain from doing this would be amazing.

Simon’s relationship with his wife could change completely to the point that he rushes to be home every night. Martine could discover a vocation where she doesn’t have to pretend-work all day. And as for Jen… well bearing in mind that love is a force that takes many shapes with hope, illusion and delusion being a part of the cocktail (another subject for a future blog)… once Jen is clear about her own motives and her own role in whichever way her relationship goes, she’ll develop a strength that supports her.

I think everyday illusions and delusions have hope built in. Of course they have a bit of fear built in too. It’s useful to know when we’re experiencing them though so we can evaluate if what they are making us do is right for what we want long-term.

Illusions and delusions have imagination built in too… and with imagination comes discovery. Awareness of what they are doing for us seems key. As does creating enough flexibility and strength in ourselves that we can change what we are doing when we realise it’s going to take us somewhere we don’t want to go.

Anyway, first things first, I wonder if Morrissey is following me yet…

You can also visit me at ReetaLuthra.com. It's full of information to help you address stress and work on reversing the impact of stress on your health.

 

Filed under: Personal Development

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